Relationships are not like living in a rainbow land where everything goes as planned. Relationships are about getting through every situation of life together without giving up on each other. Life is too short to stay stuck in a toxic relationship. So, if you feel you are in one, you can either work upon improving it or move on. There is no point sitting around and resisting! Take charge of your own happiness.
Was your relationship all good in the beginning but it’s simply stressful now? If your being with your partner gives you stress and you can’t be yourself around them, you are probably in a toxic relationship.
What is a Toxic Relationship?
A relationship is supposed to make you feel happy and relaxed. If it does not, then you don’t have to be with that person. A toxic relationship is the one which makes you feel stressful, dumb, contaminates your self-esteem, and fills your heart with remorse and pain. A toxic relationship is the one where you feel emotionally drained and the constant fear of judgment creeps in when you are with them. It is very necessary to identify the signs of a toxic relationship because it can damage you in more ways than you think! Here are 10 signs of a toxic relationship:
1) Jealous in Every Sense
Many times we ignore the signs of toxicity thinking it is pretty normal. Well, Jealousy is one of those signs. Being jealous in a relationship is normal, isn’t it? Some might even find it cute! But, there is a very thin line between jealousy and toxicity. If they are jealous of people who flirt with you, it is natural. But if they are jealous of every person who talks to you nicely and with the slightest of threat, they ask you to stop talking to them that is toxic! You’re a human too and can’t stop living your life for them. Your partner needs to trust you and your love.
2) Criticism & Comparison
You are never too good for them! All you’re ever going to hear is “Why don’t you dress up like her?” “Her boyfriend made this grand gesture for her, why don’t you ever do it?” or “You need to lose some weight, you look awful!”
Well if they criticize and compare you to other people then, they clearly don’t see you for who you are. They have an ideal image of you and want you to fit into that. This ain’t healthy!
3) Communication is a Big Deal
Communication is the building block of a relationship. Being in a relationship with someone means that you can talk to them about anything and everything fearlessly. Isn’t that’s what significant other is supposed to do? Understand you? Well, if you can not talk to them without thinking or without the fear of being judged then you are definitely in a toxic relationship.
4) They Don’t Encourage You To Grow
You grow a little every day. While you grow, you change in many ways. Someone who truly loves you will support you through those changes and hurdles of life, while your insecure partner will try to hold you back and become a hurdle in your personal growth. They will be jealous of your achievements, will not support your interest and always make you feel like you do not matter. They may often mock you & make fun of you!
5) Passive Aggressive Behavior
This is the most commonly approved behaviour in relationships. Fighting isn’t a good thing but staying silent and dropping hints is even worse. If something is bothering you, talk to them about it than avoiding the conversation. This harms relationships the most. Your partner may feel unwanted. Ignorance isn’t bliss and tantrums aren’t fun.
6) Constant Fear of Break Up
Do you think it is worth being in a relationship where you constantly fear losing your partner? Being worried about losing the other person is not the sign of a healthy relationship. You may fear because they constantly threaten to break up with you, flirt with other people a lot or maybe you feel really unwanted. Either way, it is going to disturb your peace of mind and nothing is worth it!
7) Non-Stop Narcissism
People often masquerade narcissism as self-love. If your partner is always talking about themselves and hardly care about what’s happening with you, it ain’t a healthy relationship. Self-Love is a good thing. If you don’t love yourself, you can not expect someone else to love you. But, when you commit to the other person, you need to love them just as much as you love yourself because your significant other matters!
8) Constant Need of Being Perfect
Everyone is mortified on their first date. We try to be perfect and try our best not to do or say anything stupid. It is okay! The problem is when you always try to be perfect around them. You hide your flaws all the time when you are around them. Have a constant fear of being judged and this makes you uncomfortable in being yourself around them. You need to be with someone who makes you feel comfortable so you can be yourself, with all the flaws! You need to let your guard down.
9) Competition & Scorecard
In a healthy relationship, your partner is going to listen to your problems and forgive & forget your mistakes. In a toxic relationship whenever you share your problems or achievements, your partner is going to compare it to their own. If you say “You had a really bad day at work”, instead of sympathizing or asking what happened they will start to make you feel that their day was worse. No matter what you say, they are just going to compete with you. Your partner may even have a scorecard of where they compare ‘who made more mistakes?’
You need to understand that it is a relationship and not an academic project!
10) Privacy? What Privacy?
Even when you are in a relationship, you are an individual and deserve some level of privacy. If your partner trusts you, they will respect your privacy. If you find your partner constantly checking your call logs, emails, text messages & social media inboxes then they definitely do not trust you. Everyone has a personal life and keeping a tab on your SO is a major sign of a toxic relationship. You are an adult and do not need a babysitter!
People always think it is okay to tell your partner what to do and what not to do. Reality check, it is not okay! Every individual has their own life and one can’t be restricting them from doing stuff. If you find your partner controlling your every move, asking you not to talk to people, giving up on things you enjoy & controlling everything you say, welcome to a classic toxic relationship.
12) You Are Simply Not Happy
If you don’t feel empowered and happy in a relationship then you aren’t with the right person. Your significant other is supposed to make you happy. You are supposed to become the better version of yourself with the person you love and, if you can’t then you have to find out why.
Every relationship has ups and downs. Relationships aren’t walking in the park on a sunny yet breezy day, they are about walking in the park in every season and protecting each other. Relationships aren’t all happy or all sad, balance is very important. It is very easy to land into a relationship but difficult to maintain one.
P.S. If you feel you are the toxic one in the relationship, you are not a bad person. You just belong with someone else. Let the other person go!