Man is a social animal.

– Baruch Spinoza

Being a social animal, we as humans come across several people in our day-to-day lives. And out of all the people we meet, some become an important part of our existence who have a deep impact on it. But their influence may not necessarily be positive all the time. Sometimes we surround ourselves with toxic people unknowingly who suck positivity from our lives and make us feel unhappy, suppressed, and depressed. Their actions and habits affect us badly by creating an aura of negativity and taking our attention away from all the positive things in life. You may feel stuck with them at every step and feel like there is no way out. Let us tell you that it may get harder to eliminate the toxic people from your life but with some effective measures you can turn around the situation.

Here are a few tips to eliminate toxic people from your life.

Identify the Toxic People

The first and foremost step- to recognize the people who are poisoning your life with their negative thoughts. They are selfish, controlling, and constantly bring you down with their pessimistic behavioral pattern. The toxic people distract you from your true motive. No matter what efforts you make to help them out, things only get worse with their negative approach, which makes it almost impossible to work with them.

Cut Them Out

You need to understand the fact that a toxic person is not going to change. No matter how many times this person apologize, accept the mistake or promise to change, it all comes back to square one. You cannot expect them to change for others! So do what’s good for you and your peace of mind. Cut these toxic people out of your life, for once and for all. If you notice no signs of change in their behavioral pattern, it is better to let them go.

Stick To Your Decision

As you decide to distance yourself from the toxic people, there are chances they may dig deeper and refuse to leave. And this is very likely to happen! They will try to get you back to cling and keep talking about the complexities in their life. But you need to stick to your decision. Be affirmative about your choice to end the relationship with them and make sure the message is communicated well.

Maintain A Safe Distance

Even after the attempt of eliminating toxic people from your life, you may have to come across them at the workplace or family gatherings and interact at a formal level. Do establish boundaries. Don’t entertain them at the personal level. Do not answer their texts or emails that requires a discussion about their life or personal issues. Once you decide to end the relationship, it is your responsibility to make sure that you keep your boundaries intact.

Don’t Feel Guilty

Toxic people get their energy from your loving and caring nature. And they can go to any extent to grab your attention. Even after the clear communication of your disinterest in their life matters, they may show up during crisis moments and ask for a shoulder to cry. Now, this is the point where you don’t have to feel guilty for not helping them out and should stop going out of your way to comfort them. Anyway, you cannot bring happiness to one’s life who has built the wall of sad clouds around them. Only they can clear their mess and make themselves happy.

Focus On Yourself

Toxic people have the ability to drain your energy. They leave you surrounded with the negativity that takes a toll on your confidence and self-esteem. So once you choose to chuck out these negative influences from your life, it’s time to focus on your happiness and things that matter to you. Surround yourself with positive people who help you evolve as a better person. The healthy friendships and relationships will make you feel happy, strong, and cherished.

The tips mentioned above will help you identify toxic people and teach how to maintain a safe distance from them to lead a happy, confident, and positive life.

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”   

– George Burns

Indian Millennials know the struggle of facing relatives. You are happy to see some and others, well you just fear to talk to. Of course, you love your family but at times, you can not stand them. It is weird when your relatives keep asking you your plans for the future and you haven’t decided on what you’re going to have for dinner! There are many awkward situations like this you face around your relatives when you do not know what to answer and end up lying. Let’s take a look at 5 super awkward and embarrassing situations:

1) When Are You Getting Married?
When Are You Getting Married?
Image Source – Giphy

If you are over 25 and not married, then this is the most common question your relatives will ask you. When are you getting married is one question I fear the most! Those overly poking aunties and creepy uncles will crawl from nowhere during family gatherings and haunt you for life with this question. It seems like the sole purpose of their life is to get you married and they’ll often say ‘Umar hogayi hai ab tumhari beta’, like seriously? Getting married isn’t about age but about when one is ready.

2) Meeting a Relative You Don’t Know!
Meeting a Relative You Don’t Know!
Image Source – Giphy

You’re standing in the corner at family functions, minding your own business when this aunty shows up and says ‘Pehchana? (Recognize me?)’. Now it is a really tough situation because you haven’t seen her in your entire conscious life and you don’t know what to say next. You fear that if you say no, she will be offended and if you say yes then you’ll have to talk without knowing who she is. Moreover, when they remind you of who they are, they will make sure it is embarrassing for you. The Aunty will start by saying ‘I am so and so from so and so, remember? Oh my, you have grown so much! When I last saw you, you used to run around the house naked.’

Like no aunty! I was 2 years old, you didn’t have to remind me of that. It is even more dreadful when you have to make a small talk with them and the awkward silence!

3) Political Discussions at Family Gatherings
Political Discussions at Family Gatherings
Image Source – Giphy

It’s a trap! Do not say a word. It gets really uncomfortable when one of the uncles start talking about politics or other debatable topics during a family gathering. He will probably have a really strong opinion about that topic and will turn the healthy discussion into a heated debate. He will not listen to a single word which does not support his statement. If you have different opinions, then you will be caught between whether to say or not to! You might feel his way of looking at things is too narrow but, then if you say anything, he will lecture you for hours. It bothers you but, you need to stay shut because ‘Izzat! (Respect!)’.

4) Talking About Your Academics & Career
Talking About Your Academics & Career
Image Source – Giphy

I am sure most of you must have come across such situations when your relatives question you about academics and career. It is okay till the time they ask you about the course you took up in college or about what your job profile is.

It starts to get uncomfortable when they start to question your choices and results. Questions like ‘Why did you take up arts and not commerce or science?’, ‘You did engineering to become a creative writer?’, ‘A model? But what after marriage?’, ‘How much do you earn?’ and the questions go on!

It is so awkward when all you need to tell them that your choices are yours to make and that you know what is best for you. You want to tell them to quit asking your earnings because it is plain rude but you just can’t answer!

5) The Aur Batao Shenanigans (Tell me more)
The Aur Batao Shenanigans
Image Source – Tenor

You have successfully done your part of greeting your relatives and making a small talk without embarrassing yourself and you are ready to turn around and leave. After all this aunty ji and uncle ji are still not satisfied and use the bomb ‘Aur Batao Beta!’

It is a panic situation because you don’t know what to say while uncle & aunty are relying on you to take the conversation further.

We are from the generation of sarcasm, and when our relatives ask us questions we do not want to answer, all these sarcastic replies start to pop up in our minds. We just can’t reply with all the amazing & funny replies and that is what makes it even more awkward. All we can do is laugh, nod our heads and try not to cry or shout!

Relationships are the most vital parts of human lives. The relationship with family members, friends, colleagues, and other relatives form a major part of life. In any relationship be it with parents or love interest, communication is the key. A healthy communication in every relationship leads to fulfillment and happiness. While less and more communication leads to the death of a relationship. In the yesteryear ages, communication was pricey because there was nothing called phone (read smartphone). People waited for letters to arrive to know about the well-being or development of lives miles apart.

With the arrival of the land phone, distance in communication was shortened and people waited for a call, made a call to release their stress, and talked to make someone feel better. But now in this age of extensive communication, sometimes it feels that life was better back then. We all live in a society where everyone is available virtually – the uncle of USA, the aunty of UP – everyone is active on social media. This is a sign of progress for sure but this has also led to some unwanted and unnecessary tensions in relationships.

The friendships or relationships with people was way better and healthier back in those days. For example, in a long distance train, initially in your younger days, you must have met an uncle, aunty, and their kid and shared food, gossiped about the society, gave your opinion about the current political system, etc. and while saying a goodbye perhaps taken their contact number and called them up sometimes! Or at least, you remember the words and laughter exchanged. But now when you look at the railway stations or airports, everyone is either busy on their laptops or mobile phones checking everything through apps, chatting with virtual friends, shopping online, etc.

The barrage of things like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. have opened many avenues for many people. When taken positively, they help in constructing people but it is definitely taking a toll on personal relationships!

Here are the ways it is affecting our personal space and relationships:

Expecting Unrealistic Goals From Partner

Social Media posts about celebrities tying the knot in a certain way or about other couples who are spending a great time in some exotic locales or seen proposing to each other in some unconventional manner often create a jealousy in mind. You may start expecting these things from your partner too completely forgetting that your significant other loves you, wants you, and cares for you in the way he/she feels ok. Somewhere, you have forgotten to be happy in your way. Because you are busy comparing your life and relationship with what you are seeing “online”. You forget that people tend to show their better version of themselves on these platforms. So, remember that what you and your significant other want from each other are completely different from other couples and that’s why try to be happy in your own world.

The Untiring World Of Showoff

These social media platforms have become a way of “show off” to people in a big way. Initially, people used to show off only in the marriage functions or social get-togethers with their clothes, jewelry, and of course vanity! But now attending these social get-togethers are not so important. In fact, in a marriage function or any other family meet, all of you are seen busy clicking the spread of food, home décor, and a family picture for that perfect #instapost. The real happiness of meeting people, greeting them, and chit-chatting with them can happen only by keeping the phone away. You have forgotten that! Then again there is something called “official” too. Until and unless you upload a happy couple picture on Facebook, the relationship is not validated at all.

There are couples who are facing a challenge in their relationship. But the “social media” posts speak of that perfect love story! Now, if your significant other keep your relationship a secret online, then that also leads to a fight – which shouldn’t be the case! Your relationship should be accepted by you two because the whole world has got nothing to do with it. And pragmatically your social friend circle won’t be there to take care of you in your emotional breakdown.

Privacy Of Relationships

Privacy and social media are like two parallel lines – simply reluctant to meet each other. There are people who keep on posting about their feelings “online” – feeling heartbroken, feeling betrayed, feeling special, feeling disgusting, etc. The couples in a relationship also post something about each other every hour or day. But, hey! Is every aspect of your relationship is for public purview? As said, the whole world has minimum interest peeping into your personal space. And most importantly when you and your partner are facing a tough time, you must deal with it tactfully personally rather than washing your dirty linen in public. The more you post about your relationship ups and downs on social media, the more you become a narcissist, egocentric, and selfish.

And when you are busy posting things about your relationship “online”, then you don’t have that time to invest constructively to your relationship. When you start sharing your personal problems online, some people often tend to be nosy. They keep asking you questions after questions and that would eat up your peace of mind and sanity.

Under Constant Surveillance

Social Media has really crept under the sheets of relationships. Many relationships these days are losing their weight due to the heavy use of social media. See, it is completely ok to check your significant other’s profile, gaze at their new DP, or reading the comments again and again. But what’s not pertinent is to keep a track of whose photos your partner has liked. What has he/she commented on a picture, and where has he/she checked in with how many male and female friends, etc.

Social Media updates about “whereabouts” is getting dangerous this way. You are under constant surveillance of your partner. Liking and commenting on someone else’s picture is not a “lack of trust” and should not bring jealousy in you. Your partner is entitled to have a personal space too. Where he/she can enjoy a drink, chit chat, and food with other friends. And that’s absolutely ok and normal!

So Easy To Trick

Be it Snapchat, Whatsapp, Messenger, Instagram, etc. – messages can be erased with a button. So, people have become smarter in hiding things like embarrassing pictures, naughty messages, and revealing voice notes. So, that ways, you can keep secrets while communicating with people on social media. Social Media gives a platform to connect to people and this is the space where people are often bold and carefree a lot more than their personal life. It is thus very easy to find attention on social media platforms. Even when you are not serious, you can flirt with people and erase the messages later – this commonly happens! People do all these things in social media and hide from their partners. Well, this doesn’t mean that you would now start having a hunch on your partner’s credibility. But do check that you are not doing all these things.

Overall, social media is definitely not going to erase now. It would grow bigger in the upcoming years and that’s why you should iron your ways to use it. While you have started to use social media, obviously you don’t have all these aforesaid intentions in your mind, But this is a web where people often slip. Have clear intentions and conscious because social media alone cannot eat up your relationships, but the way you operate it would kill your relationships. Make it a habit of sitting with your real friends, family members, and relatives without your phone. Because what you share with these people is going to enrich your life and not your social media personality!