“Once I called my friend, and before I could say hello, she told me that the phone is on the loudspeaker and her mom is sitting next to her! We all laughed after 5 years!”
There are many moments when our parents start talking to us and, the only thing in our mind is “Oh dear god! Please kill me now!”
Don’t get me wrong. It is one of those moments when our parents start an innocent conversation, but it is super awkward for us. They might not understand why but it is probably because we can’t tell them the truth or lie to them. We just don’t know what to say? Like when your parents ask:
“Beta Geeta Aunty says she saw you with Anjali. Is she your girlfriend?”
“Beta, I was washing your clothes and found a condom in your pants. Is it yours? Why do you have it?”
“Beta Yeh Tinder kya hota hai?”
“Do you smoke? Do you have a boyfriend?”
And then they go on with “Arey beta hai toh bata do. We wouldn’t say anything. We are your friends!” Like why? Then moments when they’re trying to educate you about sex. You can’t even say “I KNOW EVERYTHING! I AIN’T JON SNOW!”
It is moments like these when I wish I had Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak.
Here are a few ways you can escape these awkward conversations with your parents:
Pretend You Got A Phone Call
Now, this seems easy but really isn’t because you need to be really sneaky. At times your parents would just sit there, waiting for you to finish the phone call. You got to be really sneaky and careful. Take the phone call, and pretend like it is really important so you could slowly leave even if they won’t!
Crack a Joke
So, when you notice the conversation is getting awkward and making either of you uncomfortable. Take charge and lighten up the conversation with humour. Like Chandler uses humour as a defense mechanism.
Nod Your Head
Seems easy, right? Just don’t sit there nodding your head like Noddy! Understand what they’re saying. Comprehend it and know which ways to nod your head. If the conversation is awkward, do not make it worse by saying something. Pretend that you understand and agree with everything. It is not like you have to do as they say right on the spot!
Do Not Shout
No matter what happens, do not shout. We often make the mistake of letting our parents know that we are irritated or embarrassed. Do not let them smell your fear. This will have serious repercussions. Firstly, they’ll know that something is up. And secondly, they will make you talk! They would never let the topic rest.
Shift Their Attention to Your Siblings
So, if you have a sibling, this one will be a piece of cake for you. Shift their questions to your siblings. This is certainly not a very nice thing to do but, you got no option. You got to save yourself.
Tell Them Something You Achieved
If you’ve had a recent achievement like a promotion, aced the test or anything which will make them slightly happy with you. Shoot the news at them! There wouldn’t be a better time to do it. They will instantly forget about the awkward topic.
Stall The Conversation
Stalling isn’t a really good thing but sometimes when you got no other option, you got to do it. Do not refuse to talk about the topic, politely let them know that you want to talk about it but can’t right now.
Use something like “As much as I would love to talk about it, I got this paper due tomorrow. We can talk about it after I am done with my paper if that is okay with you.”
Throw in a Compliment
Flattery is a way out of a lot of things & situations! And who doesn’t likes to be praised? As soon as the conversation starts to get awkward try and throw a compliment at your parents. Make sure you slip it in really carefully. Don’t make it too obvious otherwise, they’ll know what you’re doing!
You can’t avoid awkward situations & conversations with your parents, but you can try escaping them. Go ahead and try them out cheetahs! But be careful because they gave birth to you and “Baap toh baap hota hai!”