I fall in that group of introverts but also my author bio says with pride that I can gel like an extrovert. Which one is true will be a complicated question. In my defense, I would like to say that for the sake of the so-called “norms”, “rules”, “livelihood”, and “social prestige” – I have to become extrovert at times.
Like all introverts, I also choose the people for my vicinity in a calculative manner. But alas with time and events, I have lost many close ones – some left me, and I left some. Those emotionally crazy moments in my life have broken me for sure but have also raised me valiantly. A small portion of me still has hope in people. But seriously the major part inside me stays away from all the brouhaha. With a single status (which I don’t see changing anytime soon), over the years, I have developed a beautiful love affair with inanimate things – things that are not made up of flesh and blood.
Why? Because with experiences I have found that these “things” have always held me up in my bad days just like the best buddy. When happiness surrounds me – I am bound to get people around me but when calamity hits me – I have often seen the absence of close people. Therefore, my expectation even from my bestest friends has also drowned.
This blog is a personal experience about love and relationships where there is no tangible human face. It is dedicated to all those inanimate heroes who have accepted me whole-heartedly with a promise of forever love.
The World of Movies:
It is a vast world indeed. There are various actors, directors, stories, and languages to lean on over the weekends, vacations, in flight, or amidst the crowd in local trains. Yes, you may say there are intense human faces and human stories etched in these movies. But they don’t jump off in my room – they are always on screen and never off it. The beautiful locales, interesting plots, and brilliant direction of movies engines my creativity, lets me assume the world, and of course, enhances my knowledge about people. Movies are like oxygen to me – I need it more than anything else. I fall asleep while watching movies (yeah, it’s a lullaby too) and I wake up to watch them. When I am working, a part of me is planning “what to watch today?” Can there be any fulfilling relationship like this one?
The Yummy Food Saga:
Initially, I used to like food and that’s why I never tried to prepare them. But now I love food and that’s why I now know to prepare food. The fresh vegetables, variety of spices and condiments, and proper utensils hold a big area in my love life. Those who have eaten my recipes have patted my back and that’s when I understood food & I – we form an amazing couple together.
My Dear Diary:
Being a writer, can I say I don’t keep a diary? The amazing thoughts that run in my head after or while watching movies or having good food – immediately find a place in my “dearest diary”. Sometimes, I feel that no one knows me better than the pages of my diary. They know my strengths and weaknesses, ambition and heartaches – all.
The Pages of Books:
A Bengali and his/her love or addiction for books are very common. From Tagore to Sharatchandra, from Shakespeare to Sunil Ganguly – I have read many pages, fell in love with the writer or the character intensely. Nothing is fulfilling than waking up to a weekend with a hot mug of ginger tea and a nice book for company.
Apart from books, any online article or Wikipedia page of subjects of my interests occupy my time largely. This habit of reading often leads me to think deeper and understand better.
The Happy Lipsticks:
I have lost count of how many of them I own. When I started my obsession with lipsticks, I had a target of buying 2 every month. But now the buying habit totally depends on my mood and the sale running in my favourite cosmetics website. Since childhood, I was fascinated with lipsticks and now, it has grown into a passion. Red is my most favourite shade and I have all types of red I guess in my kitty. With lipstick also comes the pout-pose (which I call poutopia) and countless selfies.
There are times during the weekend or holidays when I get up in the morning and after taking a bath, I apply lipstick, sit with my beloved movie/book/diary and continue my beautiful and gratifying love affair.
Basically, these abstract things make me feel happy and satisfied which I have never felt in my romantic episodes.