All those humorous remarks about my body and people looking at me like my body is not normal, this feeling was overwhelming. My confidence had gone down tremendously and I was like my existence didn’t really matter to anyone. I had gained 25 Kgs, and everyone had started to ask “What have you done to yourself?” “Oh My God! What is wrong with you?” “It is so weird to look at you this way, you were so thin!” and all this was followed by weight loss advice like “You should eat less”, “You should start a diet”, “Why don’t you try gym?”, “Let me share my doctor’s number with you.”
I had started to feel like I had some disease and started to stay inside the house, avoided to meet old friends, or attend any family events. I was afraid of the snarky comments people made and started to feel like I didn’t deserve to go out of the house.
But was it my fault? Not really! I realized when I was 20 Kgs lighter, people teased me for being thin. They called me names like “Tilli”, “Broom Stick”, and told me things “Bahar mat jana, hawa chal rahi h udh jayegi”, “Teri Hadiya chubhti h”, “Tu kuch khaati bhi hai?”
Moreover, people gave me their unasked advice about weight gain.
So did it really matter to people? The problem was not in me, but the problem was “people.” Yet, I was the one to blame and I agree. People around me were stupid enough to pass crappy comments and I was stupid enough to believe them. I learned no matter how I looked, people will always pass comments, and that I could deal with them in a better way.
Ways to Deal with Body Shaming
Some effective ways to deal with stupid and snarky comments about your body are:
Smile & Nod While You are Shooting Them in your Imagination
It’s never a crime to kill someone in your imagination. I have learned, no matter what you say but some people just won’t shut up. They may think you’re smiling because you’re enjoying the conversation, but they don’t know you’re happy because in your head you’re about to pull the trigger. Ignorance is bliss, especially when it is about dealing with an imbecile.
Try this at your own risk! You can’t use this trick on everyone like your relatives, or maybe even more on them. That’s for you to decide.
So let’s say someone says “Hey, you’ve become so fat! Did you eat an elephant?”
You could say-“Yes! I did, yet I am hungry. I could really eat someone dumb like you.” You don’t have to hurt them, but just let them know that their opinion does not matter to you.
Some responses you could use are for fat-shaming:
- I am just fat, I can lose weight. What about your ugly face? Even Ekta Kapoor’s Plastic Surgeon can’t fix this.
- Do you think I am fat? Well, at least I am not dumb.
- I really feel like sitting on you, like really!
- While gaining weight, I gained I’ve gained a bit of extra brain as well. Maybe you’d want some.
- Thanks for the concern. Well, I am concerned about your level of dumbness as well. I suggest you educate yourself as soon as possible.
It is okay to educate someone you think will understand. Sometimes people close to us body shame us, and that feels awful. In such situations, it is best to take a stand for yourself and confront them. Let them know how you feel and how do all these comments affect you. Let them know that their remarks affect you mentally, that you feel emotionally weak and helpless. Educate them about body positivity and its effects. The people who love you, care about you might not just understand at once but eventually will. You just have to keep taking a stand for yourself.
I felt it too! I know how it feels to be shamed for something which isn’t your fault. You don’t have to fit into a particular dress to be pretty. And just remember, no matter what body type you have, people will always find some fault in your appearance- maybe it be being thin, fat, tall, short, dark, fair, and even for the type of nose you have. You are pretty, and the world would believe it when you do! So go ahead and take stand for yourself.