Hey Cherry, can you please get me a cappuccino from Starbucks on your way back from the salon?
Cherry- Sure, why not.
Riya, can you please lend me the black dress that you wore on your date last week?
Riya- Of course, take whatever you want.
Asmita, I need a favour, can you please prepare MOM for today’s discussion as I have to leave early from office.
Asmita- I’ll take care of it, don’t worry at all.
Did you notice any similarity in the conversations above? Yes, all of them answered in the affirmative to questions or requests made to them. Just like Cherry, Riya, and Asmita, several other people who find themselves saying ‘yes’ to people only to regret it later. They have a hard time saying ‘no’ to things they don’t want to do or the tasks that cause them inconvenience. They put other’s needs before them or just hate the thought of hurting other’s feelings by saying ‘no’ for an answer.
But the truth is that it is hard and unfair to spend your entire life pleasing people. In the process, you end up losing yourselves and getting too much on your plate that you hardly get to enjoy the things you love.
Read further to know what happens when you always reply to people’s request in affirmative.
It May Hit Your Self-Esteem
Trying to please others all the time can make you feel miserable. People may only remember or try to get in contact with you when they need a favour and that can take a hit on your self-esteem. You’ll soon realize that you only matter to people as long as you are doing favours to them. That may make you feel worthless, which is not good for your self-esteem.
You May Come Across As a People Pleaser
Saying ‘yes’ to every request can portray you as someone who just wants to please others. People may believe that you have a lot of time in your hand. They would put their own needs first and start believing that your life revolves around pleasing them.
You’ll Feel Lonely
In the process of doing everything for others, you tend to ignore your desires. You are so busy doing things for others that you hardly get any time to fulfill your wants. You may start to think that people like you for what you do for them and never actually try to understand you. That may lead to a feeling of loneliness. That’s where you need to stop and think whether you actually share meaningful relationships with these people. Or are they only using you to get things done?
How cultivating the habit of saying ‘no’ will enable you to be more honest with yourself and others.
It Saves Your Time
Saying no to things that are not important to you will allow you to spend more time on things that are of great value to you. With time on your hands, you can grab the opportunities that come your way and make the most out of life.
Helps Build Real Relationship
Learning the art of saying ‘no’ may make some people in your life feel that you are letting them down. Well, if that’s the attitude, then you surely don’t need these people in your life. For people, who do not feel disappointed with your any and try to understand your situation and want to see you happy are worth keeping in life. Saying no will help you set boundaries that will let your true friends understand that your own needs come first and they are ok with it.
You’ll start to Love Yourself
The constant urge of doing things for others take the energy and concentration away from you that you may channel towards your self-growth and happiness. Saying no to things that you don’t feel like doing will make you feel good about yourself. You will learn to love yourself and self-love is the best form of love that allows people to accept and celebrate themselves.
It’s impossible to make everyone happy and once you realize it life becomes easy. Learn to say no to things which aren’t important. It will open doors for great opportunities in life. It will teach you the importance of self-love, which goes a long way.