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We all know at least one or many (in some cases) blockhead in our lives. It gets worse if any of you have fallen for one. It’s after a while, that we girls start to notice the red flags billowed by this nutcase (all sorts of synonyms for you know what sort of “Boys”). In this blog, I’m going to talk about the 5 typical types of these “Nutcases” we come across in our course of dating period. Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In” is all about such commitment fearing boys. There are more terms to define them, we’ll read them as we proceed. They’re plenty of boys who you might know or have dated whose behavior is Double Dutch to you now.

Boys, don’t fret if you fall into one of these categories—we are humans, we can stoop down to different levels! Be glad that you made to someone’s list, be even happier if you’re on the top! But no offense, recognition is the first step towards change. As quoted by William Shakespeare “I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man”. 403 years later, nothing really has changed, you will have to date 20 douche bags to win that one perfect man.

The types of “I knew you were trouble…..” guys are commonly, globally known as F***Boys, which is why the title…
Introduction
Image Source – Google

Now there are numerous definitions for this term, Urban Dictionary says “F***boys know what girls want to hear but they hurt so many girls. While doing my research for this blog (Yes I did research on them. Imagine my life, like having met them wasn’t enough!), I came across the term “F***Boy Syndrome”. Which means an incurable disease that leads to perpetual immaturity and disrespect towards most women. Common symptoms may include but are not limited to: no communication skills, living in their mother’s basement, never-ending weed smoking, no job, constant GTA playing, and refusal to grow up and act like the adult that they should be. This pretty much sums up why are exes used to behave in a certain manner. Hope they all get well soon!

Too much said, let’s look at the types now:

Warning: You may experience nostalgia or Déjà vu!
1.   The One who’s Faux-Gentleman
The One who’s Faux-Gentleman
Image Source – Google

How to spot the one pretending to be the “Gentleman” is he’ll have chiseled face, well-groomed beard, waxed chest, abs popping out from his tucked in shirt. Who wouldn’t drool over such a good looking man? This man is too hot to handle, his Instagram famous-self flourishes with the attention he gets from girls. You’ll find him clicking macho face selfies, or making hookah (Vape) videos in the corner of a club, or getting clicked with some of his female friend curled up in his arms. This Gentleman is well not so gentle and would definitely drop you when things get real. He’s in a constant search of that Instagram-worthy beauty because otherwise, his relationship won’t have a point. He spends most of his hours building that body but can someone let him know to strengthen his ego? Because darling, why get offended so easily!

2.   The One who’s a Pseudo-Lover
The One who’s a Pseudo-Lover
Image Source – Google

Have you been hearing “I love you” more than the times you breathe? Dump Him before he goes on planning your future kids’ names as well or eventually vanishes. It’s easy to spot these because all they can do is lie to your face. And you’ll get the vibes too! They’ll fall in love with you within two months, would let their friends know they’re dating someone, like the perfect guy. You wouldn’t once think if he’s lying, but one day you’ll get to know there’s much more to his super-chivalrous gestures! He’ll be emotionally unavailable! Conversations elicit fear inside them, fear of “what if she gets serious?” Dude, you were the one going gaga over my soul!

You’ll be surprised, they won’t even have any reason for this detachment. Next, you know is he’s ‘wifey-ing’, ‘baby’, ‘boo’- ing someone else! Oh, he also warns you about him ending his life for you if you won’t say yes to him! Like “yes, please go ahead! Cut those nerves, slit your neck, and stop that ugly heart from beating!” (One less Fboy in the crowd. Yay!)

3.   The One who’s a Ghoster
The One who’s a Ghoster
Image Source – Google

The term GHOSTER isn’t about the guy ghosting on you, well that’s one point we can say which is actually correct. But let’s mention the ghosts who want to control your life, like an evil spirit. He may think of you as a possession. Such guys desire to control in their life. Beware, because he doesn’t acknowledge you as a woman, for him you are an easy target. Get out of it before it gets out of hand.

4.   The One who’s a Chaser
The One who’s a Chaser
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He’ll be a chaser until you fall for him! Chaser guys would chase you until they get the required attention and god knows what joy they get. Maybe it’s like feeding his male ego, of making a woman falling in love with his disgusted soul & ugly heart! He’ll pretend to be The One you always wished for, says the right things at the right time, treats you well but drops you like a brick. (Hit his head with the same brick) His mission’s accomplished when you fall in love with him and after some time he’ll just leave! Don’t let your dreams of being with The One come crashing down!

5.   The One who’s Needy AF
The One who’s Needy AF
Image Source – Google

Oh! We know these ones too well! All they want is some action! And to make it more “Exciting” (for him) he’ll send a picture of his genitals. C’mon, who needs a conversation with him?! Don’t let yourself get fooled by such needy & greedy douchebags. They’re all over the internet! Guys who do such ill exhibitionism, are well aware of not being able to impress women, so let’s just scare them off! Eww!

Okay, frankly they’re all Greek to me. All the Fboys got more excuses than you can count, don’t be ho to his boat. You deserve much more than someone trying (Literally) to be just there for his own good. Patience is truly a key to something worthy. Wait for your right person, you’ll eventually know if he’s worth it. He might resemble some of the types but the one meant for you, won’t change over time.

Friendship is a relation that we develop out of choice and something which is not provided to us. Finding someone with whom we can share our secrets, joy, and sorrow is priceless.

A best friend is someone who accepts us for who we are and respects our choices without any judgment. And if you have a great friendship with someone from the opposite sex, it’s an added advantage. Apart from having someone who understands you, there is a great opportunity to explore more about both genders.

But with opposite-sex friendships, there’s always a fine line between loving your friend and falling in love with them. Well, the feelings can be really intense in the latter scenario and you may not know how to exactly deal with them. So, here are some tips to help you decide your next step in such a scenario:

Analyze Your Feelings

Sit. Relax. Think. It is also possible that you may be just infatuated to your best friend and mistaken it for love. So, think about your feelings just to make sure if it is actually love or you are just being emotional or it is just a passing phase of your life. It may be possible that you are jumping to conclusions based on some momentary reactions. Like, your friend was looking hot one night, and suddenly you started drooling all over them. Because in that case, it is just a feeling and not actually love.

Don’t Drop the Bomb on Them

We know it’s hard to keep your feelings when you’re in love. But make sure you don’t scream at the top of your lungs to declare your love for your friend. If you have made the choice to tell them how you really feel, then wait for the right time to talk about it. Probably when you two are alone and spending time together. Start showing your affection in sweet little gestures and then observe how your friend reacts to it.

Be Honest About Your Feelings

If your friend responds to your gestures and feelings, then be honest to acknowledge your feelings. Sit and talk about how you feel for them and want something more than the friendship you two share. Without actually destroying the friendship that is the very foundation of your relationship. There may be confusions in the beginning, but if you two are really good friends who understand each other, then the wind will definitely clear in a while.

Respect Their Response

If your friend lets you know that the feelings are not mutual and they do not see you as anything other than a friend, then respect their decision. Don’t be pushy or try to convince them to be in a love relationship with you. It may ruin your friendship. There is someone waiting for you. You just need to wait for the right time. If their response is positive and things are great, then work towards building a loving relationship that doesn’t come on your way of friendship. Always remember you are friends first and then lovers!  And let it nurture your relationship.

Falling in love with your best friend can be a blessing or a curse. If you ever end up in this situation, then count your blessings, analyze the risks involved and take your decision wisely.

Are you a single child?

Do you feel alone?

Who do you play with at home?

Hmm, that’s why you are so spoiled and stubborn!

These are a few comments and questions that single child often comes across. Being a single child is quite different and fascinating. It comes with a fair share of perks and moments of extreme boredom when one actually yearns for a meaningful sibling bond.

Of course, a single child gets undivided attention from parents and have everything at the very first command. But growing up without any sibling also means no play buddy at home. It is actually a blessing and a curse.

So here are 13 things all the single kids out there can relate to:

  1. Your parents are never tired of showering their love upon you. You share a very close relationship with them. You are loved, pampered, hugged, and kissed by them all the time. Yes, even in front of your friends and girlfriends/boyfriends, which can be embarrassing at times.
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Image Source – Google

2) Ah, the joy of keeping all the presents to yourself on Ester, Diwali, and Christmas. Because there is no didi or bhaiya or younger siblings with whom you have to share your gifts.

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Image Source – Google

3) You are used to staying alone at home when your parents are out of town. Actually, it very much feels like you are the emperor of the castle and can do whatever you want. Not to miss all the parties that you end up having with your buddies in your parent’s absence.

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Image Source – Google

4) You don’t ever have to share a room. The entire room is yours to sing, dance, sleep, or for whatever you want to do with it. You don’t even have to share the bed. And there are never any fights or arguments about the way you want to decorate it with your favorite actor or sportsman’s posters.

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Image Source – Google

5) Be it your favorite cake, candies, or toys, you never have to worry about sharing them with your siblings. Because you don’t have any. We understand that sharing is caring but you can always learn this life lesson by sharing things with your friends.

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Image Source – Google

6) Being a single child, you must have a long list of friends whom you treat like your siblings. Because being alone at home all the time, you actually love to have people around to talk, play, and share your favorite things.

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Image Source – Google

7) You don’t have anyone to back you up when you have to sneak out of your room for late night parties. You are always the sole planner who has to carry out all the mischievous plans themselves. Also, you can never blame anyone for your mistakes and bad habits! Sad but true!

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Image Source – Google

8) A single child never has to use an older brother or sister’s hand-me-downs. They get everything of their own, be it new toys, books, clothes, or mobile phone.

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Image Source – Google

9) Your teddy bear is your best friend. You play with it, eat with it, and sleep with it each day, every day. In fact, your teddy bear is your best friend and confidante with whom you share all your joys and sorrows. After all, you’ve mastered the art of imagination and no one can beat you in that.

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Image Source – Google

10) Being a single child and the apple of your parent’s eyes, they always have too many expectations from you. Your parents have all their hopes and dreams dependent on you. They expect you to focus and excel in every field, be it studies, sports, or dramatics. Sounds too much pressure? But you can at least try for the sake of their happiness!

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Image Source – Google

11) Being a single child people always assume that you must be a weird or spoiled brat because of all the love you get from your parents all the time. Well, that may be true to some extent and you are sometimes spoiled with excessive love but people are no one to tell you this. It’s between you and your parents and should stay that way.

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12) Every single child out in the world will relate to the fact that they love their privacy more than anything else. They often feel shy in large groups and feel uncomfortable. They prefer to stay quiet and socializing at parties or gathering is not their forte.

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Image Source – Google

13) The single kids learn cooking quite late in life. They are way too pampered by their moms and are never allowed to enter the kitchen. Or never had any sibling to experiment with online recipes. They only learn how to cook when they actually starve and online food is just not an option.

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Image Source – Google

No matter how lonely single kids feel or how wrong they are judged by people. They’ll always be their parent’s favorite who will never stop loving, caring, and pampering them.

Marriage is an institution based on the strong foundation of companionship. But there are some bouts of the squabble in every marriage that even the oh-so-in-love couples cannot avoid.

Yes, the silly, stupid fights where married couples get angry with each other over complete nonsense. Sometimes these fights can be really funny that has no solution, but married couples still fight over them all the time. But in the end, these fights always bring them closer to one another more than ever.

So, here is a list of silly things that married couples often argue about:

  1. Every day and night they end up fighting over the AC temperature. Like how hot or how cold the room needs to be. Two different bodies need two temperatures. And that mean temperature that suits both of them just doesn’t exist.
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Image Source – Giphy

2. The universal issue that leads to a fight between couples all the time. What to watch on TV? I mean the fight is sure to happen when the wife wants to watch a Rom-com while the husband is a huge fan of the action thriller. These are the two choices poles apart.

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Image Source – Google

3. Who would have thought that people can actually fight over how to arrange dishes in the dishwasher? Well, married couples certainly make it look easy! They always pick up a fight about whether the dishes must be pre-cleaned before placing them in the dishwasher or just hope that the dishwasher will itself clean them efficiently.

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4. Who will answer the door when maid rings the bell first thing in the morning? Because our bed is so precious to us that we just never want to leave it and would even pick up a fight with our partner for an extra 5 minutes sleep.

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Image Source – Giphy

5. The curious case of ‘keeping things from where they were taken out.’ Every wife is tired of reminding this thing to her husband a thousand times a day but men won’t change and they’ll still leave things where they are not supposed to be.

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Image Source – Google

6. Those irritating, loud snores at night that sometimes make you want to strangle your partner. And the worst part is that your partner would never accept that they actually disturb your sleep with their bad snoring habit. In that case, the fight is bound to happen!

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Image Source – Google

7. What? Did you just say your parents want to visit us? But they went back last month after staying with us for a full three months. Yeah, the same old story where every woman goes into the state of despair after knowing that her in-laws are visiting. I mean, there’s nothing personal but nobody likes to be corrected about doing things the right way or should we say according to the in-law’s way.

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Image Source – Google

8. There’s no doubt that sometimes men baffle their wives with their inappropriate dressing sense. I mean checks over checks for men’s dressing is quite a weird choice. That is sure to make their wives ask, ‘What are you wearing?’ And there goes another hour of argument over a pointless issue, which could have been easily avoided in the first place.

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Image Source – Giphy

9. To attend or not to attend family functions! Sometimes both the partners do not agree on attending a family function. One thinks that it is important to go and socialize with the people who are an important part of their life while the other one just wants to pass and spend some relaxing time at home instead. And guess what the final decision is never easy to make without getting in a fight.

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Image Source – Giphy

10. What to order? This happens all the time and with every couple. You are too tired to cook dinner after a busy day at work and just want to order from outside. As simple as that. No, actually not! To order food, first, you need to decide what you want to eat and then it should also match with your partner’s choice, which doesn’t happen most of the time. Your partner wants to eat Chinese but you do not because that’s what you ate last week. You like Mughlai but your health-conscious partner cannot afford to eat all the oily stuff. And that’s how food discussion ends up in a silly argument.

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Image Source – Giphy

11. Falling asleep on the couch can be your favorite thing to do but you can only imagine how much it annoys your partner. Because you end up ruining the setting of the sofa cover that your cleanliness conscious partner absolutely hates.

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Image Source – Google

12. Leaving wet towels on the bed. Men do it all the time. Now, the sheets are wet. The towel smells bad. And your partner’s temper is an all-time high. You are in trouble man. Save yourself if you can or maybe just change your habit!

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Image Source – Google

13. The million dollar question, who is going to get back out of bed to turn the light off? I mean you can just take turns and call it a truce. But that’s not the most viable option with couples, I guess. They’ll fight over it for another half hour and then the person who has to get up early in the morning will go and turn off the light.

 

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Image Source – Google

No matter how big or pointless arguments get, married couples still have them all the time and end up getting a good laugh about them later.

They say marriages are made in heaven and once you are married, then the relationship sticks for 7 births! But they don’t say anything at all about divorces? Where do they come from? With a divorce, one of the beliefs is shattered – marriages are not meant to last for 7 upcoming births. This is a reality. Some marriages are meant to last for a little while and that’s ok. If the partners are “no more happy” with each other, they should part ways, rather than staying with each other under one roof and constantly bickering and leading a negative life. Divorce is a legal document which states that the husband and wife are now free from each other.

But the challenge strikes when the divorced partners have kids. Many divorced parents have to fight for the custody of their kids and that’s the most painful part of this process. It becomes a bit tough for the kids to digest the fact that their families are not like the families of other friends around. They start feeling a difference in the behavior of their parents and are sometimes difficult to talk to. For a long time, they don’t understand who would be a better friend and guide to them – the mom or the dad.

The mind of the kids are innocent and remember that the excruciating experience in childhood often shapes the personality and attitude of the kids. Being parents, you should thus avoid doing these following things to your kids:

  1. Never Badmouth About Your Ex-Partner

Kids always idolize their parents. So, when you badmouth about your ex-wife or husband in front of your kids, it becomes confusing for them. Their mind gets tossed up and they cannot decide who is good and who is bad. Rather than drawing parameters of good and bad, be simple and normal with your kids. Give an atmosphere to your kids where they respect both their mom and dad in spite of separation. If you provoke your kids to hate their mom or dad, it will come back to you someday. Keep the environment peaceful and let your kids grow in an amiable atmosphere. Otherwise, this constant squabbling may result in loss of concentration in studies or aggressive behavior at school, etc.

  1. Never Miss The Family Gatherings

It is tough to face the same old people who are legally not a part of your being but perhaps with them you have countless memories. They are related to your kids – some are their grandparents, some are uncles, aunties, cousins, etc. So, never let your kid miss the opportunity of being a part of the family even when you are divorced. It was not the fault of your kids that you and your partner couldn’t stay together so be graceful and tactful!

  1. Talk To Your Children About Divorce

It should be always you who talk to your children about your divorce. Your kid should not listen to it form someone outside in the society or from any relative. Choose your words well and explain your situation to your kids. Your kids will understand surely and with time learn to cope with reality too. But always be open to talking to them about any question regarding your marital status.

  1. A Happy Face Is Important

Divorce is quite naturally not one of the nicest things especially when you have kids. But it is also the best thing to happen when you are not happy in your marriage. It is a phase that leaves you with many questions for your partner and you will definitely face your weakest self during this time. You will want to shout, cry, and break things. But whenever your kid is around, try to put up a happy face because if you behave abnormally in front of your kid, that will play with his/her mind badly. Keep your emotional outbursts in front of your friends, chosen relatives, or therapists and when facing your kids, behave normally.

  1. Literally Move On

Moving on is very important and serves as a good example in front of your kids. As mentioned earlier, kids venerate their parents and seeing you move on in life will make your kids confident enough to face challenges of life. He/she will learn that “bad times come, bad relationships happen, but one needs to enjoy life by overcoming all these”.

Romance is oxygen in love relationships. It is a strong adhesive that keeps the couple intact. In fact novelist, Elinor Glyn said that “Romance is the glamor which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze”. Romance is thus a much-needed element in a successful relationship. Whether you are in a live-in relationship or are married for years – romance should be there in your relationship. Without romance, things may fall apart. Actually, when you observe a lack of romance in your cute love story, you don’t feel the strength in your relationship anymore the way you felt when you started. If you see the following symptoms in your relationship, then, darling, those are signs of the dying romance that you once shared with your partner.

Read and analyze your relationship and do something about it now!

  1. He/She Is No More The 1st Person To Share The Big News

There is a place for your best friends in your life. But the reality is when you are in love or in a serious relationship with someone, then, that person quite generally becomes your best friend, companion, and secret-keeper. And that’s quite a common phenomenon across the world. You always feel the urge to share the big news or breaking news like losing a major client, winning a lottery, getting promoted, or getting a free pass to a concert, etc. with your partner. If you observe (both in your & your partner’s case) that all the big news are shared with a best friend, a new friend, or a family member, then, probably there is a lack of romance.

  1. Thinking of A Break-Up Constantly

If nowadays, the thought of a “break up” is constantly buzzing in your head, then it is a serious warning that romance has already died in your bond. Deep down in your mind, you always know the truth but the acceptance of that reality takes a long time to transform. If your gut feeling is saying “break up” quite often, then probably you should now take a step forward.

  1. The Feeling of “Loneliness” In His/Her Presence

Nothing can beat this one truly. There are two types of couples basically. The first kinds are the ones are extremely opposite to each other & have different choices, yet, they share a room/home and feel complete in each other’s presence. They both may be enjoying two different movies or books but there is a comfort in that silence and difference. The other kind of couple is the one who is perhaps watching the TV or the same movie & one is enjoying while the other is not. Or they are eating at the dinner table and one is expecting attention and conversation while the other is totally investing in his/her phone or tablet. If you belong to the second category, then buckle up, please. Always remember that in a romantic relationship, the differences are meant to be respected and not ignored.

  1. Weakness Pushes The Strengths Away

In the initial phases of your romantic union, everything seems good. The differences, behavior, sleeping pattern, the taste of food, or cleanliness – everything seems “cute” and you just “AWWW” those moments. But then of late, if you see these things more than the understanding and the romantic evenings spent together, then, definitely there is a problem.

  1. Avoiding Spending Time With Each Other

For any relationship to prosper, spending time with each other is mandatory. If you or your partner is avoiding or re-scheduling or canceling the promised times to spend together, then, you should worry. Is he/she spending more time on social media than spending time with you? What is there on social media that real people cannot fill? Find that out if he/she has started to talk to random people on facebook or insta. Maybe he/she is bothered with something and feeling afraid or shameful to talk to you which is resulting in this turmoil. If you don’t find suitable answers, then you are smart enough to figure out what to do – isn’t it?

  1. Are Your Conversations Boring?

After a considerable period of time, the conversations between partners turn to these – “have you bought the medicine?” “Didn’t you feed the dog?” “Where are the groceries for the week?”. But that’s ok also like both of you have to run a house. The problem is if you are not talking beyond these things. If there is silence after these question and almost monosyllabic answers, then, definitely you should worry. You must have spent some amazing times together, shared laughter, and made jokes at each other. Start all that again and if you see a reluctance in your partner, then, of course, talk it out so that romance can be back again.

  1. A Significant Change

Yes, it is true that “change is the only thing permanent in this world”. You must not forget that a little of both of you have changed since your relationship started. More than “change” that is called adaptation and adjustment to accommodate love & romance in life. But if you have recently noticed a significant change in your partner, it could mean romance has started to evaporate from your love for sure. You may see your partner change his/her entire wardrobe, visiting family & friends more than before, spending more time in the office, shifting the taste of music & movies, or spending money on very unusual things that are totally opposite to that person’s dictionary. These are symptoms that either he/she wants a new life, found a new love, or simply is done romancing with you!

Telling everything to our mom, feeling like she can make everything okay by just a hug! Yup, that feeling is amazing, but now that we’ve grown up, we need to stop doing that. Maybe your mom is super cool and lets you do whatever you wish to, you still have to own up for your life and stop telling your mom a few things.

The Fun Things You Did
The Fun Things You Did
Image Source – Google

Never tell your mom about the fun things you did while you were in college or school. Your stories might be super funny and adventurous to you, but to your mom, those are dangerous stories. What is funny to you is a cultural shock to her! Trust me, telling your mom about your adventures will turn out to be an hour lecture for you! That is what the generation gap is all about.

Small Tiffs With Your Friends
About Your Experiments
Image Source – Google

We have been sharing everything with our parents since our childhood! When it comes to our problems, we end up sharing them with our mother, which is a very good thing. But you don’t have to tell her everything. We all have fights with our friends, and at times these small fights may seem like the end of the world! Knowing that Desi moms can be overprotective about their kids, would start disliking your friend. We may make up with our friend later on, but our mom never will!

About Your First Intimate Experience
About Your First Intimate Experience
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This is a big NO! You may think that you’re a grown-up now and can tell your mom about your school/college boyfriend and your first intimate experience, well just don’t!

To them, you are still a child, do not even think about sharing these details with her. If you do it, you’re inviting drama.

Tough Times At Work
Tough Times At Work
Image Source – Google

Okay, I understand that one ought to share their office shenanigans with someone. It makes us feel lighter, we are always looking for advice, and who could be better understand us than our mother?

Well, did you forget that her love for you is going to tell you to quit your job because her child is the best in the world!

Moreover, she is constantly going to worry about you, when you certainly can deal with office-hassle on your own.

Every Guy You Date
Every Guy You Date
Image Source – Google

It is always good to keep your parents in the loop when you’re seeing someone. I am pretty sure that your mom loves to know things about your love life and her advice are incredible, yet you should not tell her about every guy you’re seeing. At times, we are just trying to figure out things, or maybe casually dating them. Your mom would not understand. If you tell a desi mom you are seeing someone, their mind wanders to Shaadi instantly! Don’t tell a desi mom about your significant other, unless you are 100% sure about them.

Secrets Your Siblings Told You
Secrets Your Siblings Told You
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It was so much fun blackmailing your siblings. We all have exploited our siblings for money & other benefits by threatening them to reveal their secrets to mom. You don’t have to do that anymore! You got to stay loyal to your siblings. They are your strongest allies. Telling your mom about what your sibling is up to, you’ll hurt your mom and your sibling at the same to time.

Your Financial Stability
Your Financial Stability
Image Source – Google

Your mom is always going to look at you as a child. She will always worry about your financial well-being because it is often a part of her modus operandi.

Unless your parents are still paying your bills or supporting you financially in any way, you shouldn’t tell your mom about your financial status. Good or bad, at some point, you have to be responsible for yourself and start making decisions yourself. You might feel like investing in something which is actually good but your parents think is a bad idea. Sure, they know better, but sometimes we got to learn from our mistakes, take risks and explore financial sectors your parents never did.

Every Detail About Your Mental Health
Every Detail About Your Mental Health
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Mental Health is a very delicate topic. Anxiety, Depression & Stressed have crept into our lives slowly, and we don’t know what to do! Well, do share them with your mom because she would understand & support you for sure. But your mom is not a mental health professional, which is why you don’t have to share every detail with her. If you feel like you need help, talk to a professional, not your mom. The only thing that’s going to happen if you share every teeny-tiny detail would be making her anxious!

About Your Experiments
About Your Experiments
Image Source – Google

Experimented with your sexual preferences or maybe altering substances? Well, if you just experimented once or maybe twice and found out it is not for you, you should not tell your mom about it. It was just a silly phase which is over, and now there is no point telling your mom. Again, you’ll end up making her anxious!

P.S. If you’re addicted to something, you ought to tell her for the help you need!

We are close to our mothers and often feel the obligation to tell them everything. A mother’s love is unconditional which is why we feel telling her everything will make everything okay. That isn’t true! We being adults, need to keep a few things to ourselves and try to overcome our own obstacles. Unless things get out of hand, we don’t really have to make her worried about things. She has been taking care of us since our childhood, now it’s our turn. She never told us, about the hurdles she faced. Why? She didn’t want us to worry, not it is our turn to protect her.

When you fell in love that may have not been because of any reason but when you end up with them that definitely has some back story. Break Up by actual terminology mean the separation of something into several pieces or sections. After a relationship ends, there are 100s of questions dancing in our head. One very prominent one is “Should we stay friends? Or can we stay friends?” The answer to that question is NO! Why? Well here are 5 reasons why you cannot be friends with your ex!

1.    The heart wants what it “Needs”!
 The heart wants what it “Needs”!
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When you separate from your partner and decide to stay friends, it impacts your healing process. To let go & move on you need to distance yourself from your ex and grieve the breakup. Your heart needs to heal from the separation to have a better next. In order to have a better next, you first need to grieve about the present situation.

2.    Friendship = Friction!
Friendship = Friction!
Image Source – Google

To have a better next-relationship afterward you need to cut the ordeal with your ex. Being friends may cause friction in your next. Your new partner might feel slight insecure or threatened with your awkward friendship with your ex. In order to have a healthy relationship, one must cut the ties with their exes.

3.    You’re Inviting More Pain!
You’re Inviting More Pain!
Image Source – Google

While being friends with your ex can be casual & cool, it isn’t easy when you cling onto hopes & expectations. You’re simply inviting more pain for yourself. It was difficult in the first place, and then clinging onto hopes of winning them back might get you messed up. It only gets worse after the break up because you’re clearly not over them and they have moved on. Now, what joy it is to see someone you loved one is in love with someone else? Do all your loved-ones around you a favor and please move one. Saying it is easy but is equally difficult. But it isn’t doing any good to you.

4.    Simply NOT “Necessary”!
Simply NOT “Necessary”!
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The world is full of nice people who’re looking for love & friendship. Why do you want to cling onto the past? All that “Let’s be just friends” drama isn’t at all necessary. Be open to opportunities, you never know what or who may surprise you! And if not, life’s all about learning & growing. I’m sure you’ve heard of “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince!” So, get your lazy-sad bum moving and go find some frogs before you find your Prince!

5.    Boy, Bye!
 Boy, Bye!
Image Source – Google

This one isn’t exactly a reason to not be friends with your ex but just something that actually makes sense. All these exes teach us lessons or make us realize our flaws (if one wants to accept). When you’ve learned about yourself, you might want to find someone better to match your standard (no offense). With all ‘Knowing self-worth’, you really don’t want to waste your time anymore on the last one, right? So don’t be friends with your ex!“

There you go with reasons to not be friends with your ex. Is there any good reason to stay friends with your ex, kindly share. We’d love to know.

Cause baby now we got bad blood!”

-Taylor Swift

We have friends, then there are good friends, best friends, special friends and there are friends who disguise as good ones but in reality, are toxic! One needs to be careful of the latter category. They are toxic and drain the energy out of you. Those friends are the ones Taylor is talking about in Bad Blood!

Who is a Toxic Friend?
Who is a Toxic Friend?
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A toxic friend is anyone who is a hurdle in your personal growth. Whenever they enter the room, they bring negative energy with them. Such friends affect your mental health which is why it is very important to identify such friends and get rid of them! Below are the signs of a toxic friend:

  • They try to control your life: Toxic people love controlling people around them. This makes them feel empowered!
  • Put you down constantly: They are always going to make you feel like you are less than they are. They are always going to make you feel like your dreams and, your perspective do not matter.
  • Isolation: They may try to stop you from making other friends or maybe even control your spending time with other people. They want all your attention!
  • Humiliation: Just to make themselves feel better, they may try to humiliate you in public by making fun of you.
  • Blame Game: They are always the victim! To them, everyone has wronged them in some way or the other. Whenever things go wrong, they will blame everyone around them, but never admit if it’s their mistake!
  • Inconsistent Personality: Everyone has mood swings! But this one friend would change their mood every second. They’ll be happy and after seconds, they’ll be angry. This can stress you out!
  • Pessimistic: They are cynical about everything! Every good thing you tell them, they will find a flaw in it.
  • Inconsiderate: They are inconsiderate towards your feelings. They wouldn’t think about your emotions before they speak!
  • They are Resentful: If they feel you have wronged them, they will feel no shame in taunting you every second.
  • Judgmental: This one trait is the most prominent one. No matter what you tell your toxic friend, they are going to judge you.
  • Bad Listeners: Your toxic friend is always talking about themselves. They would never want to listen!
  • They may Gossip: They are gossipy and may even gossip about you behind your back!
  • Drama: They love drama and will do anything to make things about themselves.
  • Needy & Clingy: Your toxic friend will only come around when they need something. They will depend on you for emotional support to the extent where they’ll drain out your energy!
  • Attention Seekers: They always want to be the one in the spotlight! They may do and say things if they aren’t getting enough attention.
  • Jealousy: Whenever you achieve something, they will be jealous and will try to belittle your achievements.
  • Compare & Compete: Anything you buy or experience, they end up comparing it to what they have! You will always find them competing with you.
  • They always Lie to you: They will never tell you the truth about their dating life, their Friday plans, their problems, or if you ask them for the feedback!
  • Make you feel guilty: If you hang out with your other friends without them, they might make you feel guilty about doing it! It won’t matter even if you asked them to join, if they can’t come, they wouldn’t expect you to go either.
Why to get rid of a Toxic Friend?
Why to get rid of a Toxic Friend?
Image Source – Google

As they say, toxic people always pollute everything around them! This exactly what a toxic friend does! They will befoul the vicinity around you and will make you feel like you don’t matter.  If you stay around them, you might start to feel emotionally drained and unhappy. A toxic friend, putting you down constantly will make you question your own self-worth. Their pessimistic energy might make you feel low all the time. Since a toxic friend is always jealous of you, they will always tell you that your dreams are invalid & unrealistic! Who needs that kind of energy in their life?

A toxic friend will restrict you from doing things, and you may feel compelled to listen to them because there is a constant fear of validation from them. They manipulate your decisions, trying to control your life. Moreover, when you achieve something they wouldn’t be really there to celebrate the occasion but draw all attention towards them. With your toxic friend around, you constantly try to make them happy and honestly, nothing works.
Having a toxic friend definitely effects your mental health! Feeling worthless, always in competition, and stressed out might affect all aspects of your life. You might feel tangled up and complicated all the time. And anyone who doesn’t make your life better but worse, you certainly don’t need them! Anyone who does not have good intentions, you don’t need them in your life! You do not owe anything to anyone.

Rather than squandering your time & energy on a toxic friend, take care of yourself! The very reason to lose that friend is: You need to love yourself!

How to Get Rid of the Dementor- Toxic Friend?
How to Get Rid of the Dementor- Toxic Friend?
Image Source – Google

You’ll meet new people, and you’re going to lose some! That is what adulting is about. Since you will eventually lose people, why not lose the dementors & parasites? Here are a few ways to get rid of the toxic friends:

  • Set Boundaries- It is said that one can get in your head, only when you let them! You need to start standing up for yourself in front of your friend and let them know that you aren’t comfortable. Since dementors prey on weak, you’d see that your toxic friend will start to disappear because you aren’t giving them the sadistic pleasure of ruling you.
  • Be Truthful- Well, if you have the courage to tell them that you don’t want to be around them anymore, go ahead! Be honest with them and let them know.
  • Put Yourself First- Your obnoxious friend is used to all the attention you give them, once you start putting yourself first, they wouldn’t really want to hang out with you.
  • Make New Friends- When you make new friends, you may spend more time with them. This would make you feel more positive and happy, and there would be no time left for the toxic friend!
  • Use the Fade Away Technique- Stop messaging and calling them. Start telling the dementor that you are busy! Every time they try to make a plan, tell them you’re busy. They might eventually take a hint and back off!’
  • Ghost Them- Not an ideal way but, it definitely works!
  • Start Asking Them for Help- The dementor never likes to help! Every time you ask your friend for help, they will have a reason to back out. When you start asking for help frequently, they will drop you like a bad habit.
  • Contradict & Question them- Toxic people love to be right! It is almost like their drug. If you start questioning them and contradicting them, this will drive them away.
  • The Tit for Tat Technique- Start acting as they do! This will repulse them away.

It is essential for you to lose the dementor in your life, for your own mental health & peace. Remember, a toxic friend can harm you more than an enemy ever can!

First things first, if you suspect that your partner is cheating, then let us tell you the doubt does not grow out of anywhere. Either there is a drastic change in your partner’s habit or there is noticeable guilt in their behavior.

In both scenarios, things seem to be going south for your relationship. In your mind, you must have raised this question a million times “Is he cheating?” But how are you actually planning to confront him with the question “Is he cheating?” While it is good to talk about your suspicion but facing reality can be difficult at times. So, if you ever find yourself suspecting your partner of cheating, there here are a few simple steps you should take.

Analyze the Entire Situation

Think about things that make you suspect your partner! Take a good look at your partner’s daily activities. If your partner is spending too much time on his/her phone. The communication between you two is not how it used to be. If the spark has faded between you two. Or your partner is trying to spend as much time possible being away from you.

Confront Your Partner

Once you have identified your feelings about the entire situation, it is time to move to the next step. Talk to your partner about how the recent change in his/her behavior affects you. This is something you are doing for your peace of mind, so do it with full dignity and respect. Your anger is reasonable but does not try and dominate your partner when you speak about your feelings. Accepting faults require a lot of courage. Your partner may be sorry for his/her behavior. Or it is also possible that your partner may deny it at first.

If Your Partner Deny, Show Evidence

In case the latter happens, show your partner the logical pieces of evidence. The phone call list, photographs, exchanged text details, hidden emails, credit card statements, etc. Because there are chances that your partner may deny it until you show him/her the actual evidence.

Allow Your Partner to Express Their Perspective

When your partner takes the blame, allow them to narrate their side of the story. We understand that cheating is never justified. But it cannot always be baseless. Ask your partner about things that they fail to achieve in a relationship, such as affection, companionship, sex, lack of understanding or any other important factor. Is your partner able to find all these things outside the relationship or not? Or does your partner need any sort of therapist help to deal with problems and issues? Talking about all these things will help you understand the problem much better.

Discuss the Damage Caused To Your Relationship

Of course, when your partner cheats on you it takes a toll on your relationship and equation. Discuss with your partner the damage that his/her behavior has caused to the relationship and your emotional sanity. That will help your partner gauge the intensity of their wrong actions.

Consider Pros & Cons for Final Decision

After everything said and heard comes the final step where you have to decide whether you want to stick or twist. Do you want to break up with your partner or give them another chance for redemption? Every relationship is different and sacred for the two people involved in it. If you believe the loss is irreplaceable and staying with the same person will give you nothing more than pain and anxiety, then moving out of it seems a viable option. But if your partner accepts his/her mistake and does everything to heal your wounds, then at least he/she deserves a chance. The final call should be made from deep within your soul!

Always remember what doesn’t destroy your relationship, makes it stronger!!

Bitnami