We all know at least one or many (in some cases) blockhead in our lives. It gets worse if any of you have fallen for one. It’s after a while, that we girls start to notice the red flags billowed by this nutcase (all sorts of synonyms for you know what sort of “Boys”). In this blog, I’m going to talk about the 5 typical types of these “Nutcases” we come across in our course of dating period. Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In” is all about such commitment fearing boys. There are more terms to define them, we’ll read them as we proceed. They’re plenty of boys who you might know or have dated whose behavior is Double Dutch to you now.
Boys, don’t fret if you fall into one of these categories—we are humans, we can stoop down to different levels! Be glad that you made to someone’s list, be even happier if you’re on the top! But no offense, recognition is the first step towards change. As quoted by William Shakespeare “I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man”. 403 years later, nothing really has changed, you will have to date 20 douche bags to win that one perfect man.
The types of “I knew you were trouble…..” guys are commonly, globally known as F***Boys, which is why the title…
Now there are numerous definitions for this term, Urban Dictionary says “F***boys know what girls want to hear but they hurt so many girls. While doing my research for this blog (Yes I did research on them. Imagine my life, like having met them wasn’t enough!), I came across the term “F***Boy Syndrome”. Which means an incurable disease that leads to perpetual immaturity and disrespect towards most women. Common symptoms may include but are not limited to: no communication skills, living in their mother’s basement, never-ending weed smoking, no job, constant GTA playing, and refusal to grow up and act like the adult that they should be. This pretty much sums up why are exes used to behave in a certain manner. Hope they all get well soon!
Too much said, let’s look at the types now:
Warning: You may experience nostalgia or Déjà vu!
1. The One who’s Faux-Gentleman
How to spot the one pretending to be the “Gentleman” is he’ll have chiseled face, well-groomed beard, waxed chest, abs popping out from his tucked in shirt. Who wouldn’t drool over such a good looking man? This man is too hot to handle, his Instagram famous-self flourishes with the attention he gets from girls. You’ll find him clicking macho face selfies, or making hookah (Vape) videos in the corner of a club, or getting clicked with some of his female friend curled up in his arms. This Gentleman is well not so gentle and would definitely drop you when things get real. He’s in a constant search of that Instagram-worthy beauty because otherwise, his relationship won’t have a point. He spends most of his hours building that body but can someone let him know to strengthen his ego? Because darling, why get offended so easily!
2. The One who’s a Pseudo-Lover
Have you been hearing “I love you” more than the times you breathe? Dump Him before he goes on planning your future kids’ names as well or eventually vanishes. It’s easy to spot these because all they can do is lie to your face. And you’ll get the vibes too! They’ll fall in love with you within two months, would let their friends know they’re dating someone, like the perfect guy. You wouldn’t once think if he’s lying, but one day you’ll get to know there’s much more to his super-chivalrous gestures! He’ll be emotionally unavailable! Conversations elicit fear inside them, fear of “what if she gets serious?” Dude, you were the one going gaga over my soul!
You’ll be surprised, they won’t even have any reason for this detachment. Next, you know is he’s ‘wifey-ing’, ‘baby’, ‘boo’- ing someone else! Oh, he also warns you about him ending his life for you if you won’t say yes to him! Like “yes, please go ahead! Cut those nerves, slit your neck, and stop that ugly heart from beating!” (One less Fboy in the crowd. Yay!)
3. The One who’s a Ghoster
The term GHOSTER isn’t about the guy ghosting on you, well that’s one point we can say which is actually correct. But let’s mention the ghosts who want to control your life, like an evil spirit. He may think of you as a possession. Such guys desire to control in their life. Beware, because he doesn’t acknowledge you as a woman, for him you are an easy target. Get out of it before it gets out of hand.
4. The One who’s a Chaser
He’ll be a chaser until you fall for him! Chaser guys would chase you until they get the required attention and god knows what joy they get. Maybe it’s like feeding his male ego, of making a woman falling in love with his disgusted soul & ugly heart! He’ll pretend to be The One you always wished for, says the right things at the right time, treats you well but drops you like a brick. (Hit his head with the same brick) His mission’s accomplished when you fall in love with him and after some time he’ll just leave! Don’t let your dreams of being with The One come crashing down!
5. The One who’s Needy AF
Oh! We know these ones too well! All they want is some action! And to make it more “Exciting” (for him) he’ll send a picture of his genitals. C’mon, who needs a conversation with him?! Don’t let yourself get fooled by such needy & greedy douchebags. They’re all over the internet! Guys who do such ill exhibitionism, are well aware of not being able to impress women, so let’s just scare them off! Eww!
Okay, frankly they’re all Greek to me. All the Fboys got more excuses than you can count, don’t be ho to his boat. You deserve much more than someone trying (Literally) to be just there for his own good. Patience is truly a key to something worthy. Wait for your right person, you’ll eventually know if he’s worth it. He might resemble some of the types but the one meant for you, won’t change over time.