Relationships can be broadly categorized into two – one, that is formed right at birth (family and relatives) and two, that we choose ourselves. Relationships bind us with people, make us more responsible, and make us learn about patience, the joy of sacrifice and many such things. But again, some relationships can be toxic or hazardous. Instead of contributing constructively, these relationships destruct people from within. A little bit of hurting or fighting happens in every relationship and people get over them, patch up, forget and forgive each other. But that is not the character of a toxic relationship. There comes a point when “taken for granted” becomes the rule in this relationship and all that this relationship can then ignite are a pain, suffering, sadness, anger, and frustration.

Additionally, there is always an inexplicable kind of tension running in the head when you are in a toxic relationship. One cannot enjoy properly, sleep properly, or work properly, because of the presence of toxicity in life. Coming out of such a relationship seems like the only solution and one must do that. If a relationship feels like a hell hole, then, there is no expectation of beauty there – right? But once you are out of such a relationship, never forget the lessons that you have learned from that.

Here Are The Learnings That You Can Take Away From A Toxic Relationship:
Understanding Self Worth:

The relationship might have been physically or mentally or emotionally jerking which left you with a scar for life. One of the basic characters of every toxic relationship is that you are not aware of your self-worth at all. During your toxic relationship, you were at an all-time low because your partner always made you feel like a dust particle. In fact, during that relationship, you have perhaps never wanted to see things differently or understand your real worth. Now when the relationship in the graveyard, you are a new person altogether who understands the meaning of “self-worth”, “self-confidence”, or “self-esteem”.

Considering Your Happiness First:

Now, when you have started to understand self-worth, you also know that considering self-happiness is the most important goal of life. Pleasing the people around you is also good but there is also an extent to do that. The moment you cross that line – people start to neglect you or take you for granted. Therefore, you now learn to take good care of yourself and keep your happiness in front always.

Understanding the Arrival of Danger:

It’s not like initially, you never understood the arrival of red flag or danger in your relationship. You simply used to ignore them. That’s where things actually faltered – now you know that too well. Be it possessiveness or shouting at public places, or any other signs of toxicity in the mind of your partner – addressing that issue right at the first time is the best solution and no one knows it better than you now. In a certain way, you also become more intuitive in sensing the arrival of danger.

Relying More on Friends & Family:

The group of close friends and family members can always judge who would be a better person for you. Because they know you more than you think you know yourself. Perhaps your friends and family members have disapproved of this person you dated but drunken in new love, you didn’t listen to them at all. And now when you have faced a bad phase in your life for that love- you tend to rely more on the choices of your friends and family members.

You Develop Confidence:

In the case of alarming situations in life, intuitions and instincts play a major role. They tell us what next is waiting for us. After breaking up from your toxic relationship, you now are more confident about your gut feeling. You now seem more confident about every step in your life and you never ever miss the call of your instincts.

You Now Draw Boundaries:

It is very important to have boundaries in a relationship. Initially, you thought that you need to share yourself, your life, your choice, etc. with your partner. But now as that relationship didn’t live well, you now know to set your boundaries. It is not at all ok to overstep those boundaries.

Self-Defense Mechanisms:

There are people who have never ever stood up for themselves. Are you one of them? Then, obviously, a toxic relationship must have taught you the most important life lesson – right? That is if you don’t take up a stand for yourself – no one else will. To conclude that bad relationship, you had to stand up, push back, and go away. Now, this self-mechanism will always live with you.

These important lessons from noxious relationships will definitely make you a better version of yourself. And now that you know about the outcome of these relationships, you can also share your learnings with those who need help.

Marriage they say is the union of two loving souls who have dreamed to spend their life together. But in India, it is a lot more. You have to fall in love with your spouse and then also own and love his/her family. Thanks to Ekta Kapoor, the dramatic saas-bahu (MIL & DIL) relationship in India is known to the world now. There are some families where the MIL-DIL stay in unison, agree to each other mostly and live a quarrel-free life. And then there are some families (read most) where the MIL-DIL share a “not so comfortable”, melodramatic, and torturous life. It is true that you cannot clap with one hand but again it is also a truth of our society that a DIL can hardly become a daughter in true sense.

A melodramatic MIL is one of the toughest persons to live with. Because she will have a problem with anything and everything under the sun and her favorite person to blame is her DIL. The same MIL will react differently when her own daughter complains to her about her MIL. In case, you are living with a melodramatic Saasu-Maa, here are some life-saving tips and tricks.

Be Friendlier To Your MIL’s MIL:

In case the mother-in-law of your MIL is alive, you can be friendlier to her. She will love you because now the older MIL can see the performance of your MIL. Believe me, the older MIL will tell you many tales when your MIL was new to the family. You can sometimes bitch about your mother-in-law in front of the older MIL and she will understand you better. You will come to know about many secrets and weaknesses of your MIL and that will always work as a positive tip. Use these secrets as a weapon when your mom-in-law is trying to prove you wrong or trying to humiliate you in front of other relatives.

Don’t Quit Your Job:

Always remember that you have a life and identity beyond this family and thus never ever quit your job. Taking a leave for some time after marriage and living a proper Indian family life where the daughter-in-law gets up early, does the Puja, and serves the breakfast cannot actually save you. Because your melodramatic MIL will find less sugar in tea & less salt and more pepper in food – every time you prepare them. All these constant complaints will leave you in a frenzy. So, when being a docile housewife is not helping you lead a happy domestic life, then, why not start your job again?

Go back to the office and change your focus to better yourself at work. You will have lesser problems at home. She will still fuss because you are now going out and balancing both home and office – but your achievements at your workplace will be your reward at the days end that will give you some sanity. And most importantly, you will be away from home for a good 8-10 hours and that definitely means less of melodrama in your life.

Don’t Take Her Words Personally:

Make a habit of ignoring what she says mostly. If you learn not to take her words personally, you will lead a peaceful life. So what she complains about your food or cleanliness. Just live your own life and when she starts her complains or creates a scene – make a straight face or put your earphones or give the excuse of your children’s homework’s, etc.

Don’t Visit Often:

It is really a boon if you stay away from your melodramatic MIL in some other locality or city. In case, your husband has the habit of visiting her every weekend and you cannot say him directly, then, start making excuses of your PPT, doctors appointment, Yoga class, cleaning home, etc. The more you visit, the more you give the change to your MIL to eat away your mental peace. And like all melodramatic MIL, your MIL also thinks her son is snatched by a witch-like you – right? So, let your hubby enjoy her mamma time for the weekend.

Remember A Gift On All Occasions:

Never ever forget the big to small occasions at all. Your “full of drama” MIL will get new chances to humiliate you. So, keep reminders on your phone at least a week before the “important dates” so that you have time to go shopping and buy the best gifts for her. Meeting her occasionally and that too with nice gifts would cool her down.

Sometimes Dish It Back To Her:

Every individual comes with a set of limitations and strengths. So, when she has touched that maximum limit of patience, just give it back to her. Always remember, the more you stay silent and tolerate her high-end drama, the more she will be powerful. So, when you give her a piece of your mind – she will mind a distance which will retain normalcy in your family.

Talk It Out:

No other tip can be as helpful as this one. Clear cut communication between the two of you may change your relationship dynamics totally. Your husband loves his mom and loves you too. Any average Indian MIL has thought that her son has changed drastically because of the DIL. Let her know that you realize your husband is her child and the obvious behavioral change is not easy for her. And then follow the conversation by letting her know about certain things that you won’t compromise on. It can anything like – you don’t want tips from her how to raise kids; you want her to call you in advance and let you know of her arrival, or questioning you for not packing lunch every day for your husband.

There are chances that if you let her know your thoughts in a calm conversation, she might change her attitude towards you.

7.5/10 on IMDB and 8.1/10 in TV.com – Desperate Housewives was first broadcasted on 3rd October 2004. And since then, it has garnered huge fandom across the globe and that is evident with 8 successful seasons. For the uninitiated, Desperate Housewives is an American mystery comedy-drama television series created by Marc Cherry and produced by ABC Studios and Cherry Productions. Currently, it is available on Amazon Prime. The story is set on a fictional suburban area of the USA named Fairview. The street where the characters live is known as Wisteria Lane. 5 housewives befriend each other coming from different backgrounds and the story is narrated or seen through the eyes of their late friend who dies in the pilot episode. This set of housewives were desperate to live their lives, take their challenges, commit their mistakes, and learn from their mistakes.

Over a span of 2004-2012 – it made the fans love these characters, hate them, and also learn many lessons from them. But the current generation also watches it and loves it. I started to watch it recently and within 1 and half months I have reached the 7th season. There is so much to love and learn both. So, here are some of the life lessons that I have observed from the show. Hope you will also find them useful.

Money Is Definitely Not Everything:

One of the most loved characters from the series is Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria) or Gabby. She was a successful model and that’s what she always wanted to become. Her priorities were too clear to her – she just wanted to be rich, shop the best clothes in the world, and have all the best jewelry, makeup, and shoes in her closet. So, quite obviously, she gets hitched to a very successful businessman named Carlos Solis (Ricardo Antonio Chavira). Carlos is always busy in his business trips and conference meetings and to relieve her monotony she starts an affair with John – her gardener. She also ends up spending more time in shopping and salons. When the couple tries for surrogacy, the biological mother is reluctant to give her child to the Solis. Thus, a bank full of money also cannot fulfill their emptiness.

People Have Their Dark & Deep Secrets:

Everyone you see walking on the road, shouting on the phone, or waiting for someone on a park bench – has secrets. Their secrets and reasons are best known to them. You are no one to judge them. You may see them smile or dance at a party – but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their share of sorrow or secrets to hide from the world. In every season of Desperate Housewives, a new member or family comes to stay on Wisteria Lane with their baggage of deep and scary secrets.

Your True Love Can Come More Than Once:

“True love happens only once” – this is an age-old theory. In the practical world, you actually change with time and broaden your thoughts and it is absolutely ok to fall in love more than once. Bree Van De Kamp played by Marcia Cross falls in love with a psycho pharmacist after the death of her husband. After the death of the psycho pharmacist, she falls for a dentist – Orson Hodge. Later, she divorces him too and starts dating someone who is 17 years younger to her. She was simply true to herself and enjoyed her time (in the show) – and that’s what we all should do in life.

To Err Is Human:

Alexander Pope said this phrase centuries ago. But do all of us understand the gravity of this phrase? Everyone commits a mistake. Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) goes to pry at Eddie’s place and accidentally burns it down. After divorcing Carlos, Gabby starts her affair with the Mayor of Fairview who turns out to be a psycho. So, see no one is actually perfect. That’s why forgiving is a must. Someone forgave you too when you committed a mistake and that’s the cycle in which life functions.

Accept The Change & Be The Winner:

We all have notions about ourselves in our minds. But believe me, all that changes with time and situation. You end up knowing your new limits and strengths. Gabby was an ex-model whose motto was never to have a baby but by 5th season we see her as a happy mother. Lynette was shown as a dedicated advertising person who would have never thought to be a full-time mother. But once in her sabbatical, she enjoys motherhood more than anything else. Bree Van De Kamp was shown as a full-time housewife who later becomes a successful chef and cookbook author.

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover:

The moment Eddie Britt is shown on screen – you will have reasons to hate her. She is literally a b**ch. Eddie tried to snatch Mike Delfino from Susan Mayer. She also started a live-in relationship with Karl Mayer and later Carlos Solis (ex-husband of Susan Mayer & Gabrielle Solis). Eddie is again someone who is great at sassy dialogues and insulting people. But inside her also lies a caring mother who loves her son too much. But she keeps her son away from herself because she is not able to provide him a great life like her husband. Therefore, judging a book by its cover should not be a practice.

There are many more things to learn from Desperate Housewives and I can go on and on with that. But for now, these are all I can share. Do share your views and learnings from Desperate Housewives.

Social media started as a platform where we could connect with our friends, meet new friends and express ourselves freely. Remember the good old days of sitting in the cyber café for hours chatting with our internet pal on yahoo messenger, scraps on Orkut, blingy stickers on hi5 or regular status updates on Facebook. All this seems like a hazy memory now!
Social media isn’t the same as it used to be! Why? Because our parents have invaded it!
We love our parents but sometimes they can surprise you.
And embarrassing kids- that tradition has been going on for generations now. We would be doing the same someday!

If we talk about the present day scenario, parents have their new favorite way of mortifying their kids- Social Media!

Here are a few things parents do on social media to embarrass us:

Sending Friend Request To Everyone We’ve Ever Mentioned
Sending Friend Request To Everyone We’ve Ever Mentioned
Image Source – Google

Remember that one friend you mentioned to your parents about, the one who sat next to you in kindergarten. Yes! Your parents have sent a friend request to them. They have also sent a friend request to all your other friends, teachers & crush!

 Like, Like, Like. Comment, Comment, Comment
 Like, Like, Like. Comment, Comment, Comment
Image Source – Google

We love getting likes & comments on social media, especially from our parents. It may make us feel like they actually approve our things but not on everything! Our parents start to like and comment on everything we post.

 Tagging Us In Embarrassing Pictures
 Tagging Us In Embarrassing Pictures
Image Source – Google

We all have pictures which can be referred to as “Blast from the Past!”

Our parents wouldn’t really understand why those pictures if exposed would be a nightmare to us. They refer to those pictures as “cute” and post them on social media & TAG US!

Miss A Call From Them & They’ll Comment On Your Post
Miss A Call From Them & They’ll Comment On Your Post
Image Source – Google

In case if you are out, miss a call from them and post something on social media at the same time, you’re doomed! Your parents will comment on your status asking you why you did not pick up your call or maybe the reason why they were calling you. Now your entire Facebook friend list knows that you need to reach home by 8!

Annoying Facebook Posts like “What Are Your Top 3 Qualities?”
Annoying Facebook Posts like “What Are Your Top 3 Qualities?”
Image Source – Google

Facebook is now full of these annoying apps which tell you your top 3 qualities or what were you in your previous birth! Our parents share such posts without thinking twice and ask us to like it constantly. On some level, they think it is all true!

Stalking You & The Question Game
Stalking You & The Question Game
Image Source – Google

“Please don’t tag me”, “Please don’t post that picture” or “Could you block my parents before you tag me”
If you’ve added your parents on social media, you probably have used all these lines.
They stalk you over social media and then ask you questions about your whereabouts. They even stalk your friends and ask you about them. It is terrifying!

Posting Hoax News and facts
Posting Hoax News and facts
Image Source – Google

As per our parents, everything they find online is true & they feel the need to share it with everyone over social media. They end up sharing them and tagging us on it.

Stalk Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Stalk Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Image Source – Google

It’s a waking nightmare. Wasn’t it enough that your parents stalked you on social media, they somehow find your girlfriend’s/ boyfriend’s profile and start to stalk them. This gets even worse when they send a request to them!

No matter what channel or medium parents use, the tradition of embarrassing your kids has always been there and will go on. Maybe you’d be laughing about these small shenanigans after a few years, but for now, these really mortify you. Since it is a conventional fact, someday you will find your kids all red-faced because of something you posted on your social media!

The team of Zoya-Reema has often been ridiculed for showing the lives of rich people on screen but I don’t buy those opinions. The human emotion of love, hate, jealousy, regret, and greed are the same everywhere. 8th March – on the International Women’s Day “Made In Heaven” got its digital release. With the trailer of the web series on Amazon Prime, it garnered some attention. This time Alankrita Shrivastava has teamed up with Zoya Akhtar & Reema Kagti to present the tale of the “rich” people again. Unlike Gully Boy, this time Zoya-Reema have tried to play safe as no one can narrate the lives of the rich people better really!

Made In Heaven is the name of a wedding planning company owned by Tara & Karan who are best friends. In each episode, you will see a new wedding assignment and through these brides, grooms, & the wedding events, various topics are pricked – greed for money, fake social prestige, acceptance of same-sex relationship, dowry & the filth around it, etc. Simultaneously, with that, the tales in the lives of Tara & Karan also forges ahead.

The 9 episodes web series talked about too many things under the sun and here is my observation of some practical relationship lessons that it preached in absolutely “non-preachy” tone.

Your Parents Also Have A Life
Your Parents Also Have A Life
Image Source – Google

Being raised in this Indian culture, most of us cultivate two thoughts about marriage – firstly, you should marry only once and secondly, once you are married, you should love only your married partner even after the death of him/her. But what if your parents want a companionship? You are not always there with your parents as you have your projects, assignments, and perhaps your own marriage or relationship. So, think broadly for once and let your parents live their life. The society was never nice before and it won’t be so kind even now. And to stay happy, you should not think of society! Your parents have raised you, gave you life, and prepared you to face every challenge in life and after all, that when you are an adult, they should also take some rest and live life just as they want.

Accept Your Children
Accept Your Children
Image Source – Google

There was a heartbreaking scene when a teenage Karan is mercilessly beaten with a cricket bat by his mother. Why? Because his mom came to know that her first born child is gay. She is petrified to face her son and the whole baggage of facing the family or outer world when they will come to know about this make her angry. But seriously, beating up your child would leave a scar in his/her mind forever against you. He/she will always try to run away from you, hide smallest to biggest things from you, or will always live under the impression that his/her parents don’t love. This is vehemently wrong. If you being the parent cannot accept the “sexual choice” of your son/daughter, the whole world won’t! If you didn’t support them today, they will turn out to be an average person with zero confidence for life tomorrow. So, accept them as they are and never try to manipulate their thoughts too!

Mistakes Happen & That’s Ok
Mistakes Happen & That’s Ok
Image Source – Google

Episode No. 2 shows the marriage of Harsimran (bride), princess of Dubai, and Jogi (son of a rich hotelier in Delhi). Harsimran is a bright young girl who speaks in an accent and loves the Bollywood hero Sarfaraz Khan. So, in their pre-wedding bash, the star is called by Jogi. Now, Sarfaraz is a womanizer and it is not difficult for Harsimran to sleep with him especially when she has a crush on him. She wakes up and finds a scandalous picture on social media which leads to many hassles later on. So, the wedding planners come up with a nice idea to stop the negative buzz on social media. She fell in love with Jogi properly when she realized how easily he forgave her and thus during Mehendi she was in guilt. Harsimran starts vomiting & crying realizing she is about to enter a new life with a lie. Karan says to her, “it’s ok, it’s your life, keep this little secret with yourself”. Every one of us has some kind of secret and there is no need to feel guilty for that mistake – perhaps that was ok for the moment.

Never Ever Settle With Hypocrites
Never Ever Settle With Hypocrites
Image Source – Google

Most of us or all of us do try to fake certain things while we start dating and that’s ok. But with time, we all get into our real skin and that’s when the relationship either crashes or rises to the next level. This point “never settle with hypocrites” is meant mostly for the girls. As inspired by one of the brides in this series, take a stern decision to walk away from your relationship even when you are just on the verge of the marriage. It is much needed to stand up and make a valid statement right now rather than spending the whole life in thought “I didn’t love this man”.

As per the story, the bride and groom organized their wedding and spending their hard earned money on it. The parents are also helping in certain segments and the groom is an IAS officer who wants to do something for the society. But that’s just the superficial layer. His baraat won’t enter the venue until the “dowry” settlement is done. This topic of “dowry” was never discussed and the groom’s family says “I thought you know that it is a tradition”. Yes, this kind of people still breathes in this world. The wedding planner being a woman herself decides to tell this thing to the bride just before she was about to take the saat-pheras and the bride walks away saying the most beautiful line – “I am not going to pay anyone to marry me”. Imagine how hard life would have been if the marriage was complete!

What You Do To Others Comes Back To You
What You Do To Others Comes Back To You
Image Source – Google

What you do to others, how you behave with others, everything actually comes back to you. So, it is important to be nice & polite to people. There is no need to start a foul play as you never know it may hit you harder. That’s what happened with Tara who took all the wrong routes to be rich. She desperately wanted to be one among the “cream of the society” and that made her do all the planning to break Adil’s engagement. She does all that just to be married to a big shot Adil Khanna and lives a comfortable & luxurious life. And see how life gets back to her! Adil later happens to romance Tara’s best friend Faiza until Tara find that out leaves the marriage.

This web series of 9 episodes is one of the finest things to happen to this new wave of Indian web series world. It will be remembered even after 20 years down the line for its amazing cinematography, tactful story-telling, stupendous dialogues, and of course, for giving a glimpse of the reality!

Man is a social animal.

– Baruch Spinoza

Being a social animal, we as humans come across several people in our day-to-day lives. And out of all the people we meet, some become an important part of our existence who have a deep impact on it. But their influence may not necessarily be positive all the time. Sometimes we surround ourselves with toxic people unknowingly who suck positivity from our lives and make us feel unhappy, suppressed, and depressed. Their actions and habits affect us badly by creating an aura of negativity and taking our attention away from all the positive things in life. You may feel stuck with them at every step and feel like there is no way out. Let us tell you that it may get harder to eliminate the toxic people from your life but with some effective measures you can turn around the situation.

Here are a few tips to eliminate toxic people from your life.

Identify the Toxic People

The first and foremost step- to recognize the people who are poisoning your life with their negative thoughts. They are selfish, controlling, and constantly bring you down with their pessimistic behavioral pattern. The toxic people distract you from your true motive. No matter what efforts you make to help them out, things only get worse with their negative approach, which makes it almost impossible to work with them.

Cut Them Out

You need to understand the fact that a toxic person is not going to change. No matter how many times this person apologize, accept the mistake or promise to change, it all comes back to square one. You cannot expect them to change for others! So do what’s good for you and your peace of mind. Cut these toxic people out of your life, for once and for all. If you notice no signs of change in their behavioral pattern, it is better to let them go.

Stick To Your Decision

As you decide to distance yourself from the toxic people, there are chances they may dig deeper and refuse to leave. And this is very likely to happen! They will try to get you back to cling and keep talking about the complexities in their life. But you need to stick to your decision. Be affirmative about your choice to end the relationship with them and make sure the message is communicated well.

Maintain A Safe Distance

Even after the attempt of eliminating toxic people from your life, you may have to come across them at the workplace or family gatherings and interact at a formal level. Do establish boundaries. Don’t entertain them at the personal level. Do not answer their texts or emails that requires a discussion about their life or personal issues. Once you decide to end the relationship, it is your responsibility to make sure that you keep your boundaries intact.

Don’t Feel Guilty

Toxic people get their energy from your loving and caring nature. And they can go to any extent to grab your attention. Even after the clear communication of your disinterest in their life matters, they may show up during crisis moments and ask for a shoulder to cry. Now, this is the point where you don’t have to feel guilty for not helping them out and should stop going out of your way to comfort them. Anyway, you cannot bring happiness to one’s life who has built the wall of sad clouds around them. Only they can clear their mess and make themselves happy.

Focus On Yourself

Toxic people have the ability to drain your energy. They leave you surrounded with the negativity that takes a toll on your confidence and self-esteem. So once you choose to chuck out these negative influences from your life, it’s time to focus on your happiness and things that matter to you. Surround yourself with positive people who help you evolve as a better person. The healthy friendships and relationships will make you feel happy, strong, and cherished.

The tips mentioned above will help you identify toxic people and teach how to maintain a safe distance from them to lead a happy, confident, and positive life.

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”   

– George Burns

Indian Millennials know the struggle of facing relatives. You are happy to see some and others, well you just fear to talk to. Of course, you love your family but at times, you can not stand them. It is weird when your relatives keep asking you your plans for the future and you haven’t decided on what you’re going to have for dinner! There are many awkward situations like this you face around your relatives when you do not know what to answer and end up lying. Let’s take a look at 5 super awkward and embarrassing situations:

1) When Are You Getting Married?
When Are You Getting Married?
Image Source – Giphy

If you are over 25 and not married, then this is the most common question your relatives will ask you. When are you getting married is one question I fear the most! Those overly poking aunties and creepy uncles will crawl from nowhere during family gatherings and haunt you for life with this question. It seems like the sole purpose of their life is to get you married and they’ll often say ‘Umar hogayi hai ab tumhari beta’, like seriously? Getting married isn’t about age but about when one is ready.

2) Meeting a Relative You Don’t Know!
Meeting a Relative You Don’t Know!
Image Source – Giphy

You’re standing in the corner at family functions, minding your own business when this aunty shows up and says ‘Pehchana? (Recognize me?)’. Now it is a really tough situation because you haven’t seen her in your entire conscious life and you don’t know what to say next. You fear that if you say no, she will be offended and if you say yes then you’ll have to talk without knowing who she is. Moreover, when they remind you of who they are, they will make sure it is embarrassing for you. The Aunty will start by saying ‘I am so and so from so and so, remember? Oh my, you have grown so much! When I last saw you, you used to run around the house naked.’

Like no aunty! I was 2 years old, you didn’t have to remind me of that. It is even more dreadful when you have to make a small talk with them and the awkward silence!

3) Political Discussions at Family Gatherings
Political Discussions at Family Gatherings
Image Source – Giphy

It’s a trap! Do not say a word. It gets really uncomfortable when one of the uncles start talking about politics or other debatable topics during a family gathering. He will probably have a really strong opinion about that topic and will turn the healthy discussion into a heated debate. He will not listen to a single word which does not support his statement. If you have different opinions, then you will be caught between whether to say or not to! You might feel his way of looking at things is too narrow but, then if you say anything, he will lecture you for hours. It bothers you but, you need to stay shut because ‘Izzat! (Respect!)’.

4) Talking About Your Academics & Career
Talking About Your Academics & Career
Image Source – Giphy

I am sure most of you must have come across such situations when your relatives question you about academics and career. It is okay till the time they ask you about the course you took up in college or about what your job profile is.

It starts to get uncomfortable when they start to question your choices and results. Questions like ‘Why did you take up arts and not commerce or science?’, ‘You did engineering to become a creative writer?’, ‘A model? But what after marriage?’, ‘How much do you earn?’ and the questions go on!

It is so awkward when all you need to tell them that your choices are yours to make and that you know what is best for you. You want to tell them to quit asking your earnings because it is plain rude but you just can’t answer!

5) The Aur Batao Shenanigans (Tell me more)
The Aur Batao Shenanigans
Image Source – Tenor

You have successfully done your part of greeting your relatives and making a small talk without embarrassing yourself and you are ready to turn around and leave. After all this aunty ji and uncle ji are still not satisfied and use the bomb ‘Aur Batao Beta!’

It is a panic situation because you don’t know what to say while uncle & aunty are relying on you to take the conversation further.

We are from the generation of sarcasm, and when our relatives ask us questions we do not want to answer, all these sarcastic replies start to pop up in our minds. We just can’t reply with all the amazing & funny replies and that is what makes it even more awkward. All we can do is laugh, nod our heads and try not to cry or shout!

Relationships are the most vital parts of human lives. The relationship with family members, friends, colleagues, and other relatives form a major part of life. In any relationship be it with parents or love interest, communication is the key. A healthy communication in every relationship leads to fulfillment and happiness. While less and more communication leads to the death of a relationship. In the yesteryear ages, communication was pricey because there was nothing called phone (read smartphone). People waited for letters to arrive to know about the well-being or development of lives miles apart.

With the arrival of the land phone, distance in communication was shortened and people waited for a call, made a call to release their stress, and talked to make someone feel better. But now in this age of extensive communication, sometimes it feels that life was better back then. We all live in a society where everyone is available virtually – the uncle of USA, the aunty of UP – everyone is active on social media. This is a sign of progress for sure but this has also led to some unwanted and unnecessary tensions in relationships.

The friendships or relationships with people was way better and healthier back in those days. For example, in a long distance train, initially in your younger days, you must have met an uncle, aunty, and their kid and shared food, gossiped about the society, gave your opinion about the current political system, etc. and while saying a goodbye perhaps taken their contact number and called them up sometimes! Or at least, you remember the words and laughter exchanged. But now when you look at the railway stations or airports, everyone is either busy on their laptops or mobile phones checking everything through apps, chatting with virtual friends, shopping online, etc.

The barrage of things like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. have opened many avenues for many people. When taken positively, they help in constructing people but it is definitely taking a toll on personal relationships!

Here are the ways it is affecting our personal space and relationships:

Expecting Unrealistic Goals From Partner

Social Media posts about celebrities tying the knot in a certain way or about other couples who are spending a great time in some exotic locales or seen proposing to each other in some unconventional manner often create a jealousy in mind. You may start expecting these things from your partner too completely forgetting that your significant other loves you, wants you, and cares for you in the way he/she feels ok. Somewhere, you have forgotten to be happy in your way. Because you are busy comparing your life and relationship with what you are seeing “online”. You forget that people tend to show their better version of themselves on these platforms. So, remember that what you and your significant other want from each other are completely different from other couples and that’s why try to be happy in your own world.

The Untiring World Of Showoff

These social media platforms have become a way of “show off” to people in a big way. Initially, people used to show off only in the marriage functions or social get-togethers with their clothes, jewelry, and of course vanity! But now attending these social get-togethers are not so important. In fact, in a marriage function or any other family meet, all of you are seen busy clicking the spread of food, home décor, and a family picture for that perfect #instapost. The real happiness of meeting people, greeting them, and chit-chatting with them can happen only by keeping the phone away. You have forgotten that! Then again there is something called “official” too. Until and unless you upload a happy couple picture on Facebook, the relationship is not validated at all.

There are couples who are facing a challenge in their relationship. But the “social media” posts speak of that perfect love story! Now, if your significant other keep your relationship a secret online, then that also leads to a fight – which shouldn’t be the case! Your relationship should be accepted by you two because the whole world has got nothing to do with it. And pragmatically your social friend circle won’t be there to take care of you in your emotional breakdown.

Privacy Of Relationships

Privacy and social media are like two parallel lines – simply reluctant to meet each other. There are people who keep on posting about their feelings “online” – feeling heartbroken, feeling betrayed, feeling special, feeling disgusting, etc. The couples in a relationship also post something about each other every hour or day. But, hey! Is every aspect of your relationship is for public purview? As said, the whole world has minimum interest peeping into your personal space. And most importantly when you and your partner are facing a tough time, you must deal with it tactfully personally rather than washing your dirty linen in public. The more you post about your relationship ups and downs on social media, the more you become a narcissist, egocentric, and selfish.

And when you are busy posting things about your relationship “online”, then you don’t have that time to invest constructively to your relationship. When you start sharing your personal problems online, some people often tend to be nosy. They keep asking you questions after questions and that would eat up your peace of mind and sanity.

Under Constant Surveillance

Social Media has really crept under the sheets of relationships. Many relationships these days are losing their weight due to the heavy use of social media. See, it is completely ok to check your significant other’s profile, gaze at their new DP, or reading the comments again and again. But what’s not pertinent is to keep a track of whose photos your partner has liked. What has he/she commented on a picture, and where has he/she checked in with how many male and female friends, etc.

Social Media updates about “whereabouts” is getting dangerous this way. You are under constant surveillance of your partner. Liking and commenting on someone else’s picture is not a “lack of trust” and should not bring jealousy in you. Your partner is entitled to have a personal space too. Where he/she can enjoy a drink, chit chat, and food with other friends. And that’s absolutely ok and normal!

So Easy To Trick

Be it Snapchat, Whatsapp, Messenger, Instagram, etc. – messages can be erased with a button. So, people have become smarter in hiding things like embarrassing pictures, naughty messages, and revealing voice notes. So, that ways, you can keep secrets while communicating with people on social media. Social Media gives a platform to connect to people and this is the space where people are often bold and carefree a lot more than their personal life. It is thus very easy to find attention on social media platforms. Even when you are not serious, you can flirt with people and erase the messages later – this commonly happens! People do all these things in social media and hide from their partners. Well, this doesn’t mean that you would now start having a hunch on your partner’s credibility. But do check that you are not doing all these things.

Overall, social media is definitely not going to erase now. It would grow bigger in the upcoming years and that’s why you should iron your ways to use it. While you have started to use social media, obviously you don’t have all these aforesaid intentions in your mind, But this is a web where people often slip. Have clear intentions and conscious because social media alone cannot eat up your relationships, but the way you operate it would kill your relationships. Make it a habit of sitting with your real friends, family members, and relatives without your phone. Because what you share with these people is going to enrich your life and not your social media personality!