Self-Relationship – the relationship with your own self is inarguably the most important relationship in your life. No other relationship is as special as this one. Be it your parents, siblings, best buddies, love interest, spouse, boss, colleagues – your all other relationships would be based on how you treat yourself. Quite early in development, your relationships with others shape your relationship with yourselves. There are inherent tendencies about the relationship with the self as well. As you grow up, the way you were and are treated by others, and the way those others deal with themselves, serve as important factors influencing how you address yourselves as adults.
With years, you meet various people and many people change your lives in different ways. All these things affect your personality. With heartaches or changes in life, many of you start to neglect the self and build a wall around you. Sometimes, it is hard to climb that wall even for yourself. Sometimes, you also cannot identify yourself. Clearing a communication with the self is very important to enjoy your stay on this planet.
The more balanced the relationship you have with yourself, the more productive you would be to yourself, to family, to society, and to the nation.
Here are some ways to improve your relationship with yourself.
Sketch Some “Self-Love” Habits
It is always better than “self-pity” and crying around saying “nobody loves me”. Sketch some nice habits like going on a long drive with yourself, walking alone on a weekend, thanking yourself for cleaning the kitchen or making the bed, spending time and asking your heart how it is feeling on a daily basis, saying positive words loudly, etc. By developing these habits, you would see a stark change in your attitude towards yourself & others and this would change your life forever!
Learn To Forgive
It is sometimes hard to forget certain incidents – true. But holding on to someone and not forgiving that one person would lead to self-torture. You might question that “why would I forgive that person who brought trauma or who did everything wrong to me?” Well, the deal is if you keep on hating that person and cultivate an unforgivable attitude, then that would block certain positive energies coming your way. By forgiving, you bring peace to your mind, heart, and soul. This peace then helps you reach better heights in honing the self. Remember, the more refined you are from within, the easier you are able to talk to yourself.
You know walking bare feet on the earth, over the grasses drenched with dew drops, feeling the soggy soil beneath your feet – these things connect you beautifully to Mother Nature. This activity actually counterbalances your energy and allows you to release any negative energy directly into the earth. Therefore, as a result, you will feel lighter, happier, and calmer than before. Make it a practice to do this on a daily basis.
Nurture The Habit of Writing
Writing here doesn’t mean that you have to be a Tagore or Gulzar. It simplistically means writing down all those feelings crossing your mind. It can be good or bad but once you have written about a certain situation, incidence, or person on the pages of your diary – you would feel a lot lighter. You must read what you have written and try to understand the written words are the exact mirror image of your thoughts or botheration or not. If not, then bring more clarity to your writing and see how beautifully you connect not only with yourself but also with others.
Have you ever thought why Sadhus and Sants (Saints/Holy Men/Priests/Spiritual Leaders) are so calm? You would never see a fold on their foreheads and their system doesn’t know how to frown at all. They always have a pleasing smile on their faces and the fact that “they are at peace” reflects on their behavior. Meditation is the key to achieve some peace if not peace up to their level. Meditation is simply “doing nothing” and allowing your thoughts to flow freely keeping your eyes shut and mind open. Fix a time to practice meditation and with time you would see a positive change in yourself.
Live Real World & Leave Virtual World
The craze of social media is soaring higher day by day. It is nearly impossible to stop this craze and with time this craze would just enhance. Taking a day or half day off this virtual world and living life doing all the normal work would give you some relief. The more you are on social media, the more you are susceptible to “negative thoughts” lie jealousy! Most of the people fake their joy and happiness in this virtual world and you should not buy it because real happiness lies in the real world.